Episode 85 – 2021 Success Map Series | Reflection

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Across this 5-part podcast series, I chat with co-facilitator of Leaders Who Give A Damn, Becky Hammond from Isogo Strong on how to create your success map to learn from 2020 and set your sights for success in 2021. We cover topics such as growth mindset, reflection, goal setting, actions, accountability & partnerships, and word for the year.

In this episode, we reflect on 2020, and walk you through the Success Map 2021 workbook on reflection.

Reflecting on 2020, Becky and I open up about the year we both had and what themes came through (they may not be what you expect!) and how our core Strengths themes shine through during the reflection process. We also discuss mental health, how there’s no switch to make 2021 great, and focusing on how to move past our individual stressors no matter the year or global circumstance.
Key points:
  • Allow 2020 to bring you wisdom rather than darkness.
  • Reflect, review, then apply.
  • Did you pause long enough to celebrate the good things?
  • When reviewing, ask yourself how could this be better or more efficient?
To create your own 2021 Success Map, head over to the Leaders Who Give a Damn website for the free resource which contains the workbook for this podcast episode.

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Murray Guest  00:05

Hello, Becky, it’s so great to be catching up with you again and talking about planning for 2021 and setting our goals. But before we get there, we want to reflect on 2020 in the year that has been, and building on our previous conversation about our mindset and having that growth mindset. So looking forward to this chat with you today. When you think about 2020, and I know you’ve been asking people this, and you’ve been asking people in the Leaders Who Give A Damn group, what two words come to mind when you think about 2020 for you?


Becky Hammond  00:53

Oh, man, I didn’t prepare for this. But I’m just going to give you a word that I feel maybe aren’t the most common word for 2020. We feel energized and refreshed. Hmm. So in my business, and in my home life, this year has been it’s been jolting. Like we were a family who had bags packed house packed up ready to take a new job that got indefinitely postponed in March. So I can’t say that we haven’t been affected. But I can say that it has not. I mean, it has mattered what we’re talking about last week about growth mindset. I felt a little bit proud looking back on our year going, Okay. Yeah, I think we, I think we approach this year with a growth mindset of like, okay, we’re not moving to DC, where are we going to live? Now?


Murray Guest  01:46

I just I want to jump in and say it was so inspiring how you and your husband and the whole family responded to that, that was such a, honestly such a great example of growth mindset when that happened. Okay, that’s out of our control. But what can we do? How do we pivot right now? That was so amazing. Yeah,


Becky Hammond  02:07

Thank you, thank you. I mean, there was a huge amount of overwhelm, even as I’m figuring out how to continue to pivot my business, when we were temporarily then in Arizona, and a cabin in the woods. And then when we again, switch to temporarily living into DC, in Washington, DC, where we are now. So there was some stress, I can’t I don’t want it to feel like just because I feel energized and refreshed. Those are my words, that there wasn’t some serious questioning of what what are we doing? And, you know, should I even be doing XYZ in my business? Or should I, you know, just all the doubts that come with that uncertainty. So that was all there. But I feel like we’ve we’re coming out, or coming out on the other side, and I can look back and say, there we go. We’re refreshed and energized. So how about you? What are your two words?


Murray Guest  02:57

Ah, well, I have been pondering this one a little bit. Because it’s such a great question that you’ve been putting out there. So thank you for getting me to think about it. I in this moment, and thinking about perspective, and focused. And perspective, I think through 2020, a renewed perspective about what’s important, about perspective on gratitude for family, for my clients for the work that I do renewed perspective around what’s important in life, you know, with all that’s been happening, so I’ve just got a new perspective, I think. And I would say focus because I, I’m not good at focus, I know that I’m good at moving from things. And I know, I know, I don’t multitask, but I move chop and change from different things. And I know I could do that better. And I think through this year, I’ve learnt and have been forced at times to be like, I need to be focused on it, and then be focused on that. And that’s helped me to be honest, it’s been really good. I feel very grateful. I’ve got joy. I’m actually energized about next year. But that those two words really stand out for me. But I’d love to squeeze in one more if that’s okay.


Becky Hammond  04:13

That’s against the rules. And I’m getting Yes, yes, please do. I would love that. Well,


Murray Guest  04:19

this is one I think, which leads into what we’re going to talk about today. And the word that’s coming to mind is boundaries. I feel like 2020 has had lots of examples around boundaries where with leaders, there’s the impact of what what do I expect from my people working from home with these new flexible working conditions? When can I call on you? When can you have some boundaries around when you’re working, not working when you’re with your family or whatever that is. And I’ve been thinking about how boundaries have been even stretched sometimes around some of the requirements from the government that have you know, for managing COVID And everything else, but boundaries. And just, you know, we’re going to talk about in the next conversation about clarity and goals and how clarity is, and I can see there’s some links there. And when we’re clear on those boundaries, that really helps us. So yeah, that that’s coming up for me as well.


Becky Hammond  05:16

Yeah, yeah. When those boundaries, like you said, they’ve been stretched. And so as a group or as an individual, yeah, it’s an opportunity to kind of reflect like, do do I need to create different boundaries? Is it okay, that my boundaries have kind of have stretched out? Is it you know, going to come back in together? Or, am I ok, with the way that things have been structured? I’m okay, going forward like that. So,


Murray Guest  05:45

yeah, and I think people have different boundaries, don’t they different levels of what level of flexibility they want or don’t want, or they need and don’t need are very different people. I’d say individualization of leadership that Yeah, talked about before, and people understanding that, but I think if everyone as part of this reflection process and review what words come to mind for you, when you think about the year of 2020, that has been and and jotting those down as part of this review process, we’re about to take you through. If you haven’t downloaded the success map yet, you can do so at leaders who give a damn.com there is a forward slash success map 2021 or just go to the website, and there’s a link there on the homepage, you can grab it there. We’re going to go through pages one and two of that success map in this conversation and pages one two of that success map out all about the review.


Becky Hammond  06:45

And that reflection piece.


Murray Guest  06:46

Yeah, that reflection of 2020. I love when we’re talking recently, Becky, you mentioned a quote from Lord of the Rings.


Becky Hammond  06:56

Yes, yes. Tolkien writes, “his grief, he will not forget. But it will not darken his heart. It will teach him wisdom.” We talked a little bit last in last conversation about how their husbands and their husband hard things, I don’t want to say there have been some hard things but no, it there have been huge challenges. For you, for me, for leaders out there for, for whole entire industries. And for families. And we don’t want to rose color paint this yet. We also want to make sure that we don’t let it darkness that we don’t say 2020 is I’m so glad it’s gone. It’s in the pits, let’s just move on, but rather let it bring us wisdom and not darkness, even in that hardship.


Murray Guest  07:52

And I think I mentioned this quote in the Leaders Who Give A Damn program, there’s so many quotes that we’d like to share is one that is from a guy I used to work with Eric Napier. And I just love this quote. And it is just simply the past is a place of reference not residence, which I think links beautifully to what you’re saying, Yes, we don’t need to forget things. And we can reference those things. And we can leverage those events and times and experiences to help us learn from those moving forward. But we don’t need to sit back there. It’s not your place of residence. Yeah.


Becky Hammond  08:31

Yeah. Take don’t take up our you don’t need to take our comfy blanket there and move in. We just need to reflect and then move on. Yeah,


Murray Guest  08:41

yeah. And my hope, as we step through this process is for everybody, whether they are a leader right now, or they going through this, this series with us and thinking about their review process, just to help them set for success in 2021. And I think what’s important is taking this time out to reflect to review, identify those lessons and learnings and then start to look at ways to apply that and set some goals for this upcoming years for success because we don’t know what the is going to look like. But the clearer we are on those goals, the more likely it is to achieve those.


Becky Hammond  09:19

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So let’s reflect let’s so the first two pages of this success map that Murray has used with leaders in the past and that he has graciously let us adapt for leaders who give a damn. The first two are about the review of the year. So there’s two different columns. You’ll see there are things that are these things were jiving These are things I’m proud of. And then the other side, we’re like, Look, these were challenges. These are frustrations. And I’m sure, hopefully you can find a lot for both columns. And we can chat through some of those and what that has meant for us and then page two It really just boiling that down. Okay, so then based on some of that heavy reflection work that you do on page one, what are your three biggest lessons? And what’s the So what? Why does that matter? And what what are you? What part of that reflection? Are you going to take forward with you to use as wisdom, as tocumen? Say, into the next year?



So yeah,


Becky Hammond  10:21

those two pages that we’re talking about right now.


Murray Guest  10:23

Yeah. And I’ve loved the impact it’s made with leaders in the past going through this process, where they have identified as with just so beautifully gone through Becky, what’s worked well, and what didn’t work as well. And for some people listening right now, you might find it’s easy for you to identify which didn’t work well, you know, you’re good at, you know, the maybe being a bit more critical, and a bit more negative or a bit more hard on yourself. So just be mindful of, of balancing that out with, okay, all of the good things, all the things that did go well, when you were in a real productive state. And for that other people, if you’re in that sort of mindset, where you’re very easily able to identify all the good things, make sure you take the time to go through the questions on the other side as well. Becky, I’d love for you to share when you look at the questions on page one, is there any answers to any of these questions you’d love to share from a personal perspective for you thinking about your 2020?


Becky Hammond  11:25

Yeah, you know, when I review these questions, the one that stood out the most for me, so I definitely lean towards the what worked? Well, five, if you’re gonna say there’s two ways of leaning, I learned towards the, what worked well. I have an Clifton’s drinks landers, I have a strength called connectedness. And that just kind of yearns me to see that there is learning and everything and that everything is kind of meant to be so even these things that other people might say, whoo, that was horrible. It just doesn’t occur to me that it was as horrible as maybe it might seem on the surface is part of


Murray Guest  12:04

you as well, no. No,


Becky Hammond  12:07

it’s not. Actually, I don’t know exactly where it is. I think it’s towards the bottom. So when did I apply my strengths and talents? That’s one of the questions that that reached out to me. Because we were talking about this a little bit earlier, which is, you know, Don Clifton, the father of strengths based psychology, one of his main guiding questions was, what if we change the question we ask? And we say, “what is right, instead of what is wrong?” And I think, you know, as you were saying that we could do this, not just with ourselves, but with our entire year, we can look at, you know, what, we want to know what didn’t go well. But what would happen if we focus on what did go well, and how we learn that and bring that into the future. So when I think about how I applied my talents and strengths, so what went right this year, and I feel like I was able to use, say, kind of my my drive stamina ability to create efficiency and my desire for meaningful connection to create the podcast series about strengths in crisis. This was probably one of the most meaningful series that I have done, not just for myself, but for the people who have reflected back about how it felt like, okay, maybe I’m not alone in, in this journey. And in this struggle, maybe I’m not the only one with a jaw dropping story, maybe I’m not the only one who’s just trying to figure it out. And so that felt like a an amazing application of my strengths. And then I also have a strength. It’s called belief in Clifton’s drinks language. And the space that this year has created for family has been, has just fed my soul. And so those are two ways that I look back at this year and say, Yes, I was applying my strengths, even though we have been in flux for 10 out of the last 12 months, even from a residential perspective, we’ve been together and so that feels like leaning on my strength and success.


Murray Guest  14:19

Yeah, can I as a someone that admires what you do, as, as a coach, as a facilitator, and as a mom, and as a wife. All those different hats that you wear, I see in you this. Okay, this is the situation but we’re going to make it work. There’s that belief is coming through that belief in your high achiever of Okay, this situation, but I know we’re going to make it work and here’s what we’re going to do. And we’re gonna have fun while we do it as well.


Becky Hammond  14:52

We gotta we just got it.


Murray Guest  14:56

I think I’ll lean a bit more on the other side. There’s my default I could have done that better, or I could have been better in that situation, or I could have said something a bit clearer, or whatever it might be. And so I’m very mindful of that. I also do take the time out for the other side. And I’m just going to quickly say, though, when I think about what didn’t work, and this is something, which is something, I’m still getting better at all the time, as I’m still focusing on Becky, and I’m sure a lot of people can connect with this. I know, in my moments of stress in 2020, I didn’t show up as good as I could for those around me that I love. And those moments of feeling busy or overwhelmed, or my agenda was fall on my to do list was full. And then forgetting the reasons I do the things I do for the people that I love, and then not showing up as good as I could. Yeah, yeah. So and it’s a bit of a information that I just want to quickly share. So there was a survey that you and I are talking about the other day, the Oracle workplace intelligence survey, 12,000 employees, they surveyed 11 countries, and 78% of the respondents for this survey said “the pandemic has negatively affected their mental health”. Wow. Which did honestly such a large amount, but doesn’t surprise me. Right. And I think about that statistic, I think about myself and the people I’ve been working with, and how important this conversation with ourselves and others is around our mental health and our well being because I know for myself as the same when I’ve been getting stressed and overwhelmed and thinking about all that’s going on, then I’m not showing up the best I can for those around me that I love. So yeah. So I’d be writing that down in my review about how I can do that better going forward. And that’s one of those lessons I’m taking forward. And as leaders that suddenly we need to be mindful of around, you know, 78%, that’s nearly eight and 10. People have that negative impact on their mental health. Yeah,


Becky Hammond  17:08

yeah. And what that really means, and I think I’m taking us a little bit off topic, but I just hardly can help it is that we are as leaders walking around with people who aren’t 100% Well, that we people have felt, they’re in some way, there’s a stressor in their life or in their psyche or in their physical body. That just is makes them not be 100%. Well, and so the impact of that not only on our reflection of the year, but also our planning for the future as leaders. We got to know like people, people are feeling stressed still, to this day. Right? Like, yeah, like we talked about in the last our last conversation, there’s no magic 2021 switch that’s going to make everything all starry eyed again. And so, as leaders, how can we even include include this into our reflection of last year, and to go and going into this year?


Murray Guest  18:09

You mentioned earlier, our conversations we had back mid 2020. The leadership lessons through lockdown. And one of the ones that really stands out to me right now, is that conversation about grace and kindness, and how important that is from a leadership perspective. And how bringing that grace, that kindness in a leadership approach for those people that you are leading your influencing that you care for. So if you haven’t listened to that, please, I invite you to go back and check those out in the leaders who give a damn series because it just such a great reminder around like you’re saying, Becky, with that stress, everyone’s still feeling right now that we consider that how can we show up with more kindness for those people that we’re leading as well. But in that review, I’ve I’m going to flick to the other side, then I’d like to hear one from you as well. So for me, I’d also say what has worked well is I use that word which has been used a billion times in 2020. I did pivot this year. I pivoted to online. And to be really honest, I’ve that was one of those aha moments where I thought you know what, maybe I should listen to my wife.


Becky Hammond  19:22

For the last however many years, no pandemic.


Murray Guest  19:26

Yeah, so and when we get a driver for change will make the change. And for last few years, Tammy has been saying to me, Hey, why don’t you do things online. I like facilitating working with people face to face. When COVID hit I did need to pivot online and I ran over 100 online sessions this year, which has been fantastic. Which I’ve enjoyed I’ve really enjoyed. So I say that’s worked really well that opportunity to pivot and to do that because that gives me some flexibility around how I’m spending my time When I’m not facilitating less traveled to be honest, so that’s been really good. So I’ve really enjoyed that. Becky, for you any other reflections on 2020?


Becky Hammond  20:12

You know, I think I feel like maybe this could go in both categories or at straddles is I have seen where we just need to sell we need to celebrate. And so I think that comes up on the on the didn’t do so well outside of did we just did we pause Did we? Do we pause long enough to celebrate the things that are happening? Even if we the things they originally weren’t awesome thing, but they turned into something awesome. Like we realized one day we woke up and we’re like, wow, we spent more time together as a family than we ever have. Or Wow, our baby daughter who’s one years old, goes to daddy before she goes to mama, you know, like that’s huge. That’s a huge, little. Okay, the huge, tiny, teeny tiny, little thing that feels like it deserves a huge celebration in our minds, at least a pause. And so sometimes we did that. And sometimes we didn’t. And so I I’m cognizant of the fact that that’s not something I’m great at of pausing. I like to just be like, oh, there’s a problem, I can figure out how to make it. turn into a problem, I can see how Ooh, there’s so many great things about this, that oh, we can make this so much better. And I think that will be one of my lessons for the year, is what it looks like to pause to celebrate a little bit more in the coming year. So I think does that take us into the second page? The three big I think


Murray Guest  21:41

it does. I just want to share something with everyone right now, though. And, and that is this is the power and these conversations and doing the review, because we hadn’t talked about this. And as you’re saying that I’m getting that awareness for myself going, I could do that better as well. Like, where have I celebrated or recognize the little things? And were just in my business? I haven’t done that. I mean, I’m big on doing reviews and reflecting but celebrating. Yeah, I could do more of that. Definitely. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I’m just, I’ve got to write that one down. And that’s my review as well. Cool. On the review side, and just as we before we skipped through into page two, people might be thinking, you know, I don’t have time for the review. I don’t, you know, I’ve got to get on, I’ve got my busy nurse, I’ve got got to get into 2021, you know, whatever it might be. Again, and we mentioned this a little bit in our last conversation, think about, you know, those high performance people. I had a conversation a few years ago with Rob field from Top Gun. So he was a Top Gun boss and a Blue Angels boss, for those that don’t know, Blue Angels, for the US Navy, this demonstration group. And one of the key things that stands out for me in the conversation with Rob, he talks about that every debrief session they have after one of their practices goes for twice as long as what they were doing out in the on the interesting. Yeah, so they might be flying doing formations for a show for an hour their debrief straight after we’ll go for two hours, at least he said at least. And the reasons they do that is how can we make it better? How can we make it safer? How can we make it more efficient, and this robust process helps them improve and, and perform at the most highest level? So I just hope that gives everyone some inspiration about the power and doing this process as well. Cool.


Becky Hammond  23:49

Yeah, like it’s worth the time. Even Yeah, even when we’re busy. And as we, as we, you and I are essentially doing this as we talk and, you know, whatever this conversation, that’s the length of this conversation ends up being potentially could be just as much time as it takes, it doesn’t have to be a month long project or taking a day out to think about it, it can be done in little increments over over time.


Murray Guest  24:17

Yeah, and, and can be done while you’re doing some jobs around the house or going for a walk or a jog or to the gym or whatever it is that you like to do as well. What we invite you to do after you do that reflective process, going through some of those questions to prompt you on page one, you then move to page two. And the aim here is to point those three biggest lessons when you think about at your best and you can choose your strengths and talents or maybe when you weren’t showing up at your best or you could have done things better. Whatever comes to mind you then distill those down into those three biggest lessons and what they might be for you. And I’ve actually done a bit of homework here, Becky.


Becky Hammond  24:58

I know I I’m aware of How well you can do your responsibility.




Murray Guest  25:05

Yes, I do have responsibility. But I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit. And my three biggest lessons just to share and hopefully get people think about this is my everyday health, just how important that’s been for me this year, whether that’s making sure drink enough water that I take some supplements that I like that I know I need to take, that I’m stretching every day that I am being grateful every day, all of those things. So everyday health, flexibility is key, not just flexibility in my 50 year old body,


Becky Hammond  25:36

as a human, like all that stretching you’re doing is a big emphasis.


Murray Guest  25:40

Not just that, but flexibility in life, and how important that is. So we need to have that structure, but be flexible, like you’ve talked about with your family. And even in the in the past conversations with leaders will work with just that flexibility is so important. And the last one is that individualization, that everyone’s situation is different, that we just can’t assume that person A, B, C, D, E, F, has the same situation, everyone’s situation is slightly different and embracing that. And being mindful of that is so important.


Becky Hammond  26:11

Cool, I love it. I love how you can see your three words. You’re we’re supposed to be two, but three words throughout that, as well as some of your reflections on things that went well and didn’t go as well, that kind of can be summarized into these three bigger lessons. So what do you what do you think is the so what aspect of this when you’ve done this with leaders? What do they put in that box? The So what?


Murray Guest  26:37

Yeah, so if you think it’s a continuation of the distilling from the the reflective pace to the three lessons to now what’s the one So what was the big insight. And so for some people, it’s been around better planning for some has been about how they’re showing up. For some, it’s about improving that home and work balance, to be more present and to be the best for those around them that they love and care for. So there’s been a range of for different people. summit has been around also prioritizing some of their own their own self care, and they’re actually their own develop. For me, is actually I’m going to say my own health is just something really important. So whether that’s my physical, mental, emotional health, I’d say that’s the so what because what I know is, if I’m looking after that, then I can be at my best for my family, for myself and for my clients and for working with wonderful people like you, Becky. That’s my So what? So don’t let that slip. That’s got to be that that’s my say, what from 2020.


Becky Hammond  27:49

Yeah, and again, you can link it back to every one of those things that you were talking about even boundaries, even even this new, oh, maybe I should celebrate more revolution, right of like, if if you’re, if you are well, then you’re going to be able to have more time to pause, or you’re going to think about oh, wow, yeah, we did accomplish something, or this is a good thing. So I love it. I love it. And then there’s a little place there to capture your words for 2020. So these might be words that you had already designated, or just like we talked about the beginning of this conversation, maybe they’re words that are reflective of what was it like? And how am I feeling like I’m coming into 2021. And toward the end of these episodes, we’re going to talk about what does it look like to establish a word for the year for 2021? And what’s the power? What’s the power in that? So I think it, it all kind of it all kind of fits together. So stay tuned, as we keep working through this success map together.


Murray Guest  28:51

Yeah, Becky, I know some people have already got a word for 2020 that they can reflect on others might find some words or themes that come out through this reflective piece. But you’re exactly right in I think in three conversations, we’re going to talk about the power of identifying a word or two that can help ground you can help guide you for 2021. I’m having conversations with people right now trying to work through and identify what the words are for them or myself. And I’ll say I haven’t worked out mine for 2021 yet, but hopefully through these conversations that will come to me. So yeah, really looking forward to sharing that with everybody.


Becky Hammond  29:27

Cool. And as we mentioned at the beginning of this conversation, you can get the success map out leaders who give a damn.com slash success map 2021 or go to leader to give them.com and there’s a Resources tab there where you can find not only this but also the our Are you a leader who gives a damn quiz as well as an infographic that talks about 90 behaviors of leaders give a damn that’s been sourced from dozens of real leaders, real followers, and so there’s a few resources resources for resources for you there and Always a lot of the things that we’re talking about today are, are aspects and elements of leadership that we go dive deeply in on in our program, leaders who give a damn program. That’s an online virtual course that you can walk through at your own pace, and hits on seven essential elements of leaders, and gives you action items and ways to put that into practice. And just kind of gives you a deep dive right there. Right there with us as your virtual coaches. So we will be excited for you to join us on any one of those escapades. And continuing to follow along on this success map as we get this going here at the beginning of 2021.


Murray Guest  30:48

Yep, so Becky, thanks again for your time. Thanks for your your sharing your your journey and some of your reflective pieces for 2020. Look forward to our next chat around gold clarity. And can I just say anyone that’s going along with this as they’re doing this review, if you’re getting some insights or you’re getting some aha moments through your own reflective, please share them on social media and tag Becky myself, I’d love to know how this process is helping you. So see you in our next conversation shortly.


Becky Hammond  31:19

All right. See you then. Bye.


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