Episode 110 – Shirley Dalton | Business Freedom – People, Process, Possibility

In this episode I speak with Shirley Dalton, an author and business mentor who is on a mission to help businesses regain control through the power of their people and their systems.

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Transcript

Murray Guest  

Shirley, welcome to the podcast. I’ve so enjoyed just chatting with you a bit about what you’ve been up to and what’s been going on. And so looking forward to having a great chat today about your new book and a few other things. How are you keeping? Are you keeping warm?

Shirley Dalton  

Very warm. Yes, I’ve gotten used to having a water bottle when we were travelling in the motor home and some of the places were pretty cold down in Tassie. So it’s nice to be back in Newcastle with the heater.

Murray Guest  

And yeah, so now on the motor home trip, how long were you out in the motor home? Because, obviously with COVID I think lots of people have hit the road. But, or thought about doing it, and Tammy and I’ve thought about it, but you did it. What was that like? Where did you go?

Shirley Dalton  

Yeah, well, we waited about 10 months for it to be built. And we got it in March 2019. And we went down to Tasmania in January 2020. Went across to America for some more training and development. And as we were coming back from that, that was in March, everything was just shutting down. Like you know, Maxwell Smart boom, doors, and we had to go into two weeks lock down in the motor home in Tasmania. And we were just so lucky that we had some friends that were travelling from Maitland. They went and did a shop for us because Coles and things weren’t even delivering. And by the end of the 14th day, we were like, Oh God, have we got enough milk to have a cup of coffee here, it was pretty interesting. We went for three months to Tassie, ended up nine months. And that was pretty good. Because you know, we could travel around after the three month lockdown. And then pretty much we dodged most of the lockdowns we just had one week in Darwin. And the rest of the time we were travelling and all up, we travelled and worked for about three years in the motor home.

Murray Guest  

Oh, so good. Now, this could be a very long list. But I wanted to check where would be a couple of recommendations for people in Australia that are listening that are like, based on where you went over those three years. Where would you say you’ve absolutely got to go and visit?

Everywhere, everywhere. Because everything’s so different. It for me, it was just so amazing to see how people live like there’s lots of little country towns, particularly out from Adelaide in South Australia. That was really interesting. Tasmania was just gorgeous. And they talk about the weather down there. And they say, Well, if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes. That was really good. And learning about the culture. So north and south of Tasmania don’t really get on. In fact, we met people who had not tried the beer from the north or the south.

Murray Guest  

Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah,

That was really interesting. North Queensland we really enjoyed as well. And, and then going up the centre, it was really great to do it. I don’t understand how people love living out with the red dirt. But they do. And Uluru, of course, we rode our pushbikes around the base of that. And that was just magical.

Murray Guest  

Oh, yeah. So there’s a couple of places I’ve been to which I’m totally on the same page with you, I love Tasmania, still haven’t been to Uluru, it’s on the list. I’ve got to get there. Now, how do you maintain a healthy relationship? Motor home together for three years. How do you do that?

Well, when we first got it, we’d been married for about 30 years. And I have to say Murray in the first 30 days at nearly did us in we were getting divorced, it was hard. It was like you move over, you move over and we went from a king size bed to a bed that was probably not even a double. And you know, get over. And by the end of it though, and we were as green as green we knew nothing about how to to even put things up and the awning and stuff like that, the first place we left taps on the the the taps at the caravan park and but over time you just work it out. Ross had his jobs, I had my job. And you know, he would sit in his part of the van I would sit in mine. And it’s like, you know, when you’re working with people, you work out your roles. And it starts to gel after a while but it was it was pretty rough for the first couple of months.

Murray Guest  

Well, I’m thinking, you know, with your 30 years of experience of working with businesses, partnering with leaders, that all that experience that you’ve got and then applying that into the motor home to as you said, what are our roles, what are our responsibilities, how are we going to communicate and work together?

Yes. And I’m a bit of an introvert, you know, in terms of like Myers Briggs and that I get my energy by regenerating by myself. I’m also an only child. And Ross is one of six. And I’ve just had to be open and honest with him and say that one of us needs to go out today, either you or me, I need some space. And now we’re fortunate that in our relationship, we can communicate and say what we need. And the other ones pretty accommodating.

Murray Guest  

Well, I, it’s interesting, you mentioned communication. And I was working with a team just yesterday, and just talking about how the best teams do communicate more frequently, more openly. And to be honest, I even feel like COVID and the working from home and the different working arrangements have just highlighted again, how important that is, for teams to work effectively together.

Yeah, we have in one of our leadership experiences, we have a game where we teach people about you know that groupthink and how not speaking up is actually the kiss of death for the team. And I find this and we also talk about the team development wheel and how it’s really important for you to have that what I call argy bargy, you know, where we do have a little bit of a squabble. And if you learn how to communicate well, which is you know, something that you teach and teach really well, it’s okay to say what you think. And in fact, you have to say what you think, because you can’t resolve around and if people won’t talk. And we’ve learned that over the years, I’ve learnt when Ross and I were first together, we weren’t even married, and we went to counselling, to learn how to fight. Yeah, in his family, they literally would put the blinds down and pretend they weren’t home. And in my family, we just, you know, wouldn’t have a brawl. But it you know, I did a lot of name calling and a lot of yelling, because that’s what grew up with. And of course, he would take that personally, and then be mortally wounded. So I had to learn not to name call, and he had to learn not to take it personally.

Murray Guest  

It just reminded me of Tammy and I as well, because I grew up with three brothers and sorry, mom, but we put holes in a couple of walls because of you know that to resolve our differences. And Tammy grew up in a family where we just didn’t talk about those things. And so, and, and, and I’d love to get your thoughts on this, I think there’s something powerful, whether it’s in that partnership, as a family or within business about having conversations about how you have conversations.

Yes, yeah. And I find that most people don’t get that training Murray. And they, they, they do one or two things, they either ignore it or put their head in the sand and hope that it’ll go away. And of course it doesn’t. Or they’ll approach it in a way that gets people’s back up. And then you’ve got another argument instead of being able to be assertive and communicate, and we teach a lot of active listening and the I messages. You know, and, and it really is my mission in life is to actually help people to be able to get what they want, to be assertive. And you know, my definition of assertiveness is, I get my needs met and not at your expense. And in order to do that, I have to, one, be aware of my needs, two, take responsibility for getting my needs met. And then three, using my communication skills, which is the I messages, the active listening, the conflict resolution. And, yeah, it’s such a shame that that’s not even taught in schools. But I can also imagine that, you know, if the kids went home to mom and dad and said, You know, when this happens, I feel because…whack.

Murray Guest  

Well, and that’s, I mean, I don’t know where I heard it, you might be able to help me. But that idea or that concept of people are doing the best they can with the tools they’ve got. Yes. And if we take that mindset to these conversations within business or in life and saying, Well, maybe people haven’t got those tools around how to listen, how to communicate, how to be assertive in a non aggressive way.

Yeah, yeah. And I think too, there’s also the mindset part of it, that it’s okay for, for me, you mean I really can speak up and you really want me to speak up? So having the permission and giving yourself permission to speak up and then having the tools to be able to say what you want to communicate.

Murray Guest  

Yeah, permission. I’m hearing there permission, tools and it’s safe. It’s safe to speak up. Yes. Yeah. Can I just check Shirley, how do you think leaders can create that psychological safety so that people do feel safe to speak up?

Well, first of all, I think they have to be a good role model. And they have to be able to take on the feedback themselves. So they have to welcome the feedback. You know, I work with a lot of really good leaders. And even with their clients, when their clients give negative feedback and say, you know, this isn’t working for me. In fact, I can remember sitting in a meeting just recently and one of, we said to the client, please give us the feedback and the clients go, ah, you know, nobody really wants the feedback. And we said, No, we really do. Because if you don’t give it to us, we can’t improve and can’t change. And the client was really just blown away that somebody would be open to it. So I think as a leader, that’s one of the things to be encouraging people to actually give you the feedback and then to take it on board. Now, that doesn’t mean that you’re going to change everything because somebody says so. However, it’s creating that safety that wow, I can say it and I’m not going to get ostracised I’m not going to get yelled at, I’m not going to get defense. And I think that’s one of the things that most people find too, is that when they actually do give the feedback that then people react, and they defend against it, and then you get into that escalation.

Murray Guest  

Yeah. And those those, I would even say, the split second reactions that people have, and making that okay to, to share that feedback and be open to that. It’s like feedback is one of those words, it has a lot of emotional attachment to it, isn’t it? Yes.

Somebody says to me, could I give you some feedback? I go, Okay, I’m ready. It’s almost like an inoculation.

Murray Guest  

Yeah. And then that’s a good point that as as people that do work, and you and I do some similar work, that we’re still human, we’ve still got our own stuff that we’re, you know, oh, you’re going to give me some feedback. Okay. Um, let me let me get into the mode of acceptance. Yeah. So 30 years, is, you’ve had lots of conversations I bet about over 30 years helping businesses and leaders. Can I ask? What, in your reflection has been some of those moments where you’ve just thought, Wow, I’m so glad I get to do this work.

Oh, there’s been so many of those. I particularly love running my leadership experiences, and it’s my clients that call them experiences rather than a course or a programme. Because I get to see people come in as individuals, they come in as a group, and then at the end of it, and there’s four main workshop days. So it’s an intense time, and they go out as a team. And you know, there’s a couple of exercises in that where, one of them will usually step up. And, and one of the key learnings for people there is that nobody is fighting you for that leadership position. And then like, yeah, yeah, wow. Yeah, they just come together in this thing. And they’re not all saying, Well, let me run it. Let me run it. And I’m not part of it. I just give them this exercise. And, and do I give it away or not? So the instruction is they’re meant to learn a poem, and the instruction says it’s individual. And of course, they all come back and say, Oh, can we learn it as a group? And over the years, I’ve said, Yes, and I’ve said no, and either way works, what I found recently, though, and I don’t make it easy for them, that when they want to do it as a group, okay, everybody has to agree, because not everybody does, you know, people will still really want that validation of look what I can do, you know, individually for myself. And then one person seems to take the lead, and then they organise how they’re going to do it, and who’s having what part et cetera, and it’s not an easy thing to learn. And, and then at the end of it, they, when they, when they nail it, yeah, there’s the belly bumps and the fist pumps and the high fives, and then we have the debrief and you go, Look, nobody’s fighting you for that leadership position. And because they have this opinion, that, you know, people want my job, want my role and it’s not true.

Murray Guest  

I love that, that I can picture the light bulb coming on that someone’s in that moment of that realisation of actually this is my opportunity to to own it, to step up into that space. And how good is it when you create a space for people to to learn to grow like that?

Yeah, I just love it and I people have a bit of a dig at me you know, because I will put the mirror up and sometimes they don’t like what they see in the mirror. And I’ll say to them, you know, there’ll be times when you won’t like me but I’m fighting for your freedom, you’ll be fighting for your limitations and my intention is always for you to have what you want. You know, and and Tammy added an extra word. I used to say my mission in life is to inspire educate and support you to be do have what you want, and Tammy actually put in and feel, and so it’s now ‘be do have and feel’ what you want.

Murray Guest  

Oh, great shout out. Thank you. That’s really nice. Yeah. Can I ask why is this so important to you? Like why t,he freedom the possibilities, you know, at a chord, you know where that comes from for you as to why you are drawn to do this?

Yeah, I’ve always been interested in personal development, mine and everybody else’s. And as part of the strengths, you know, there’s that learner part. And the achiever parts are always into that. Ross and I don’t have children. So we’ve been very fortunate in that respect that we haven’t been distracted by raising kids. So we can we can travel the world do the learning. And it’s important to me, because a lot of people go through life doing things that they feel they have to do, rather than things that they want to do. And if they can get the mindset that yes, they can have it, and then get the tools to be able to follow that, then I just think it would be a much better place for everybody. Imagine this, imagine a world where everybody says, this is what I’d like, please. And it’s not taking anything away from anybody else. And somebody else says, Okay, great. Let me help you. Let me see how I can help you get that. That to me would be the ultimate.

Murray Guest  

Yeah. And and I think you you’ve hinted at it already. But that mindset is so important, isn’t it, that people are doing that for themselves, creating, you know, creating that space, and that that mindset, and also for each other, encourage it from each other as well. Which leads to the blueprint for business freedom. I love this. And I’d love to talk more about it. And if you can share a bit about that, because the three P’s are fantastic.

Yeah, well, it’s a bit of an evolution. So my, when I first started my business, I focused on the process side of things. And, you know, like everybody, what will I call my business? You know, what name do I use? And I’d go to networking events, and people would say, you know, who do you work for? And I was like, uh myself, and anyway, I would help small business owners who I’ve termed them Fed Up Freddie, you know, they were stressed out, over it, and, and not really enjoying it. And I would actually help them to streamline their businesses. And then what I that’s the process side of things. And then what I found was that after a while when I’d finished the project with them, the systems and that would fall over because they didn’t know how to lead and manage their people. Yeah. And you know, and I think about Michael Gerber’s E Myth where we start out as the technician, and you know, the E Myth, the entrepreneurial myth, I don’t want to work for the idiot boss anymore. So I’m going to start my own business. Now, I become the idiot boss, but I’m a good technician. So imagine that we make surfboards, and I make the best surfboards ever, and I’m this technician, and then the business grows. So now I have to put people on and I become a manager. And now I’ve got to recruit people, I’ve got to train people, I’ve got to lead people, manage them, hold them accountable. Most people have never had any training in that area. And eventually, they get to being the business owner where they, you know, coin, he coined the phrase working on the business rather than in it. And so I found then that when people then put more people on, they didn’t know how to lead and manage them. So that became the people side of things, I just started coaching people one on one, and then did more leadership training for myself. So then we could put the leadership experiences on. And then I found that the thing that got in their way, so we had the processes right, we had the people right, but then it was the mindset that was stopping them, you know, finding out all of those limiting beliefs that we all have, you know, and I still work on mine to this day, and that became a possibility. And then I’ve been over and trained with David Bayer, and became one of his transformational mindset facilitators. And so that’s people process and possibility. And you can break that down. So the first part of it is in people is knowing yourself, and this is where you come in and help a lot of people to with their strengths is, knowing who you are, and then how you can manage around that and how you can use that to your advantage. And then knowing others, you know, so then because you can know how to communicate better with them, you can know how to interact with them, lead them motivated et cetera, and then having those good communication skills, which, you know, we can actually learn the process side of things, the smooth operations, that’s about developing the workflow for for the business, you know, what happens, by whom, and when, and then when we’ve done that, then we can work out the organisation structure in terms of roles, which is our role clarity. And then, of course, what that workflow does what, what happens by whom, and when, actually then gives us the table of contents for all of the processes because for every what we need a how, and then that’s in the documented procedures, and then.

Murray Guest  

Can I just say on this one, I was talking to a client just just this week, and we were talking about empowerment and accountability. And them going hand in hand and and for them, I think they had this challenge of some people on the team weren’t clear around what I’m being held accountable for. And the other side is well they also didn’t feel empowered. And I think that piece around role clarity, and operations is so critical and then helps that.

Yeah. And I learned the best phrase ever, from Kip McGraw when I was working with Kip, he was one of my best mentors. And, and I mentioned him quite a lot in the book. And he said this, if people don’t give you what you want, either you didn’t give good instructions, or they’re incompetent. And if they’re incompetent, is it because they’re unable or unwilling? And if they’re unable, do they need more training? So two out of three of that is our responsibility, good clear instructions, knowing what they have to do, and then training them how they have to do it. And if we’ve done all of that, and then they’re still not doing it, then it could be a systems problem, where, you know, we might not have enough staff to do something within a certain timeframe, or it’s an unwilling, and that’s a different conversation then, but it’s really helpful for managers to work out whether maybe this is me here, not them. 

Murray Guest  

Yeah. And leaders owning their stuff, or their contribution to the situation.

Yeah. And in the role clarity, we have the key performance indicators and key behaviour indicators, and they’re a little different to a job description in that they they tell exactly, what you have to do to what standard. So for example, if you’re a receptionist, it might be answer the phone within three rings using the company script. So they either do or do not, I’m not in favour of subjective, Oh give you a nine out of 10, or you’re an ABC, it’s either they do or they do not because we set the standard.

Murray Guest  

Yep. Yeah. And great link, I think to Brene Brown’s quote of, ‘Clear is kind.’

Shirley Dalton  

Yes. Yeah.

Murray Guest  

What I’m wondering is, do you think there’s an order that, that works for this, when you work with leaders and teams of people process possibility? Have you over the years found that you start with one more than other like, is there an order there?

Initially, it started with the process and then morphed into the people and then morphed into the possibility. These days, people will come for what they need, some people will come for the leadership, and then they’ll send their team for it. Others look at the process side of things, and then realise, oh, actually, maybe I do need a little bit more training. And then the possibility, that one comes, most people don’t knock on the door and say, Hey, give me mindset. But they might knock on the door and say, Oh, my systems are shot to pieces, help me fix those, or, you know, I’m having trouble with my staff. And so those things are more the decoration on the door.

Murray Guest  

Oh, it’s like that this is what I think I want, but you know what they need? Yeah. Fantastic. And for those listening, what we’ve got on the screen is an example of, or the outline of this three P model. And the blueprint that Shirley has developed, I’m going to make sure you can see this on YouTube as well, because it’s fantastic. It’s really clear to me, when I read through this, it’s like, okay, great, I can see what this means for me, as a leader working through this. The one that that you mentioned a couple of times, which maybe falls under the possibilities, that limiting beliefs, and how important that is, and working through that.

Shirley Dalton  

Absolutely. And that’s in the section that I call clearing the obstacles. So the first part shared vision and goals, you, you’ve got to have a vision for what you want in life. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be the business vision, you know, if you want to buy a new car, or you want to buy a new house, or you want to get a dog, I mean, that’s still a vision and a goal. So knowing that you want something, and then having some tools to create and manifest that, you know, as we’re learning more about neuroscience and the universe and how the vibration works, etc. So we’re learning now how to manifest. But you can give people a whole lot of tools. However, if they’ve got a limiting belief that they’re not even aware of, that stops them. So maybe, you know, as a young kid, you see people, your parents fighting about money, and you think, Oh, I’m never going to have any money that causes problems. So that then becomes the lens through which you look for the rest of your life. And then you become a salesperson, and you just can’t crack that million dollars in sales. There’s usually something in the background that’s causing that. And so once we can identify that, then we’ve got tools that we can change that.

Murray Guest  

Yeah. And because we bring our whole selves to work, don’t we?

Yeah. And you know, for me, it’s just a revelation. Like, I’ve got heaps, you know, I’ve got suitcases full of these limiting beliefs, but I work on myself, you know, constantly and seek out support from other people.

Shirley Dalton  

Yeah, and I’ve been thinking a bit about this recently, about how about when I’m stressed those limiting beliefs can get magnified.

Yes, there’s a great concept. I’ll just take that off now. There’s a great concept by Loretta Malandro, in her book called Fearless Leadership. And she talks about automatic listening. And I sort of put that into, did you hear it or make it up? Because the model goes, something happens, I have a reaction to it, I judge it, I make up a story. And then I look for evidence to predict the future. And when we get stressed, and we start making things up, and then of course, then what we do is we actually create that, you know, we’re looking for the evidence.

Murray Guest  

I love that, that’s such a great way to unpack confirmation bias, like then, yeah, how we’re doing that maybe at, you know, at a subconscious, even at a conscious level sometimes. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Now, you mentioned your book earlier. And there’s lots of books out there about leadership and leading a business. But I feel like your book is quite unique.

Yes, yes. So it’s called The Loyal Lieutenant, and how the second in command brings the CEOs vision to life. And these days, we like to use Simon Sinek’s words for the CVO, the chief vision officer, because they have the vision for where the business wants to go. They need the second in command, you know, the chief operating officer or the general manager, or just the go to person, there’s usually one in an organisation, they need that person to bring that to life. And I wrote the book, because a couple of my clients have people that were in this position, and they didn’t realise the value that they brought. Yeah, they just they were problem solvers. They got things done. And so in chapter three, we have 15 reasons why the second in command is, you know, the most important in the business. So giving them the confidence to go wow, this, you know, I do play a good role. And then in chapters four to eight, I actually go through the process system that I use with clients in going through how to do a workflow, how to create the org chart, how to develop the roles, and then how to document the procedure. So my IP is there, because I can’t serve everybody. And so that’s what’s in it. And the reason it’s called the loyal lieutenant is, when I was working with Kip McGraw, we travelled around Australia, and I was teaching the franchisees and when I got back to head office, one of the franchisees from Melbourne, wrote back and he said, Oh, you’re such a loyal lieutenant.

Murray Guest  

Oh nice. So that stuck, that stuck. Yeah. The thing that’s probably into my head is this book is valuable, no matter the size of the organisation. So I can, you know, it doesn’t matter if your organisation is 50 people or 10,000 people, there’s someone that’s that, you know, as you have articulated, so well, that’s delivering, that’s supporting, that’s bringing to life, that vision, and bringing people on board and taking that forward.

Yes. And a lot of them are just doing it naturally. You know, they just step up, and you know, the cream always rises to the top they, they’re just doing it and they don’t understand. And in fact, one of my clients, her boss read the book, because it’s only 90 pages. So I just wanted it and this is like number one, and then we’ll do one on people. And we’ll do one on possibility. But I just wanted it small, because if it’s too big, it becomes too overwhelming. Anyway, he read it on the plane, and he came back and he said, Now I know what you’re supposed to be doing. And she went, Yes, and now you know how valuable I am.

Murray Guest  

That’s so good. Because that’s what I was wondering, I thought is your desire, your aim, your vision, for the lieutenants to read it or the CEOs to read it or both?

Both. Yeah, because the CEO or the CVO then gets an understanding of how tricky they can be to work with because they do have this vision and we need it and we love it and we want it. But they don’t have that ability to articulate that into implementable action items.

Murray Guest  

Well, well, then my build on that is if the CEO is or the CVO is doing the doing of the implementation, well then that’s taking them away from what we really want them to be doing. Yeah. Great. So if you tapped into what’s your real hope for this book, what would that be?

My hope is that it actually becomes a textbook, you know that it’s like the E Myth for me, it and we have another book that I use in all of my leadership called Go for No, my that’s what my hope is that it actually becomes a resource that people use day in and day out in their offices to help them to achieve what they want, to free up as you say, the CEO, the CVO to go get the vision for the company, and then for the second in command to know yep, that’s my role. Now, this is my job to make that happen. And I think again, that goes down to role clarity. So everybody again, can get what they want.

Murray Guest  

Yeah. And I even think about maybe the perception that everyone needs to become the CEO, you know, that I’m working my way up the organisation, and I’m working towards this. However, that second in command is a very powerful, important role.

Yes, absolutely. And look, we don’t all have the skills or the talents to be the CEO, the CVO. I’m as jealous as anything, I would love to have that ability. And I don’t, I can get you where you want to go. But don’t ask me to see where you can go.

Murray Guest  

Yeah, fantastic. So if we want the book, if we want to get the book, where’s the best place to get it?

Just online shirleydalton.com/books.

Murray Guest  

Yep. Fantastic. Great. And can I ask, what was it like writing the book as a process? Because Tammy has written a couple of books. She’s got a new book coming out? I should, I think that’s okay to say, yes.

Shirley Dalton  

Give that a plug. I’d like to know.

Murray Guest  

Yes well it is coming out, but what I, I’ve heard from her and other people that have written books, it can feel like quite a journey. So what’s it been like for you?

I just love it. It’s, it’s easy for me. Today, we’re celebrating 12 years of weekly thoughts. So every week I’ve been putting out just a little weekly thought. And for me writing, it’s almost like a therapy. You know, I just put these things out. Structuring it was tricky for the first part, because I wrote the second part, which was just my methodology. And I looked at and I thought there’s not enough there. And so then bringing that in, but I love writing and in fact, you know, if I could get myself more time to do that, yeah, I would just love. My ideal is to be sitting, looking out over the ocean, you know, and just write, and see the dolphins and write a bit more. That’s my ultimate.

Murray Guest  

Well, that’s your possibility you can create Shirley there’s a framework for that. Absolutely. I saw some dolphins last, was it last Sunday? I think. At Newcastle beach. Magic. Yeah, they’ll just get past the waves. It was so beautiful. And of course cold. But it’s beautiful to see the dolphins of course. The other thing that I then have to ask is, when’s book two coming out? Yes. When is book two coming out? You’re really putting me on the spot here. Well let’s let’s just say, you know, big vision, you know, let’s not be, lock it down to the day. What, what’s your hope? When would you like to see that book?

I would like to see it out by the end of the year. Yeah. Six months?

Murray Guest  

That, that’s exciting. Yeah. And I love the idea that you’ve already thought about that plan of these volumes that will flow on from each other to support and do that. So yeah,

Shirley Dalton  

I have the content there. It’s just a matter of organising it because we have an online membership and and the leadership’s course that we do or the experience. So the contents there, it’s just a matter of organising it and getting it into a book.

Murray Guest  

Again, the power of habit and creating that time is so important. Yeah. So great talking about your blueprint, fantastic about your book, and I’ll make sure there’s definitely links in the show notes for people to check those out. So much insight today, but I do want to just tap into your strengths. Of course, I love talking to people about their strengths. I’ve had lots of conversations on the podcast. You’ve done your Clifton Strengths. I just want to ask, how has knowing your strengths helped you in what you do?

It’s actually given me permission to continue to learn. You know, I’m an avid learner. And I’ve so many times people have said, Shirl, you don’t need to learn anymore, you know, enough. And I think, Oh, you don’t understand. I enjoy learning. Yeah. So when I got the Clifton Strengths, and it said exactly that – you learn for the sake of learning. It was like Hallelujah. Thank you.

Murray Guest  

And that that moment that you’ve had in looking at your report and reading that is why it drives me to help people understand their strengths, because there’s a bit of a validation or resetting of who I am or what’s important to me, which I love. So it’s so good to hear that. 

Shirley Dalton  

Yeah. So what are yours? 

Murray Guest  

So I have relator, futuristic, communication, individualization, responsibility are my top five. If I was to get one of them tattooed on my body, this is one of the things I ask people, I say, If you loved one so much, which one would you get tattooed, it would be relator my number one because I love the deep authentic relationships that I have in my social life and with my clients. And it’s, I feel like I don’t get that I feel like a bit empty, a bit like your learner, if you don’t have that learning you feel a bit empty and for that it really is important to me. 

Yeah. And I can relate to the relator, too, because that’s one of my strengths. And my clients become my family. Yeah, I just love them to bits.

Murray Guest  

Yeah, I also know, and this is where we can have our strengths as our weaknesses, and they can get in our way. And I know that that’s one where if I feel like I’m not getting it, I can feel a bit triggered. And I know, that’s my own stuff. But then now I’m aware of as to what that can look like.

Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. So I have a question for you, Murray, you were saying at the beginning that you had three outcomes. One was to, you know, expose some of the work that we’re doing and one of them was to, for you to learn something. So I’m curious.

Murray Guest  

Oh, you’re curious as to what I’ve learned today, I would say the thing that that you’ve really reminded me of and learnt and that I’m going to focus on more, to be honest, is that’s jumped out is those limiting beliefs we’ve got that are part of who we are, but they can show up in so many parts of our life. And to be honest, it’s sometimes it’s the deeper work for someone, but such important work, and how I need to do that more for myself, and how I’d love to do more of that for the clients I work with as well.

Fantastic. I love that. What I found with limiting beliefs is when we listen to what people say, and when we listen to ourselves. They pop out, they just they pop out. And yeah, I had one client I was working with, and they’re in real estate and in regional New South Wales. And one of the chaps were saying, Ah, I could never be like my boss, you know, he can just go and do all of this. And you think, oh, okay, there’s one.

Murray Guest  

Well, and I think when I love what you’ve just tapped into there, which is I think a real good insight for everyone, is when someone says something, then that next bit of curiosity is so important, isn’t it? Yeah. So thank you. That’s been fantastic. And also, I love your blueprint for business freedom. And I can see how I can apply that in my own business, but also with people I talk to, but definitely directing people to read that book. Because I love it. And that’s the other thing. I feel like that level within organisations can feel a little bit lost or a little bit, what’s my value? What’s my impact? And your book helps them understand that. So Shirley, where’s the best place for people to find you online? Where would you like me to direct them to?

They can find us on social media. So on Instagram, and Facebook, I think it’s ShirleyDaltonCom or on the website, which is simply Shirleydalton.com.

Murray Guest  

Fantastic. And of course, and the link to the books will be at the website as well. I loved what you said before, though, you said 12 years of weekly thoughts. Is that right? Where can we get those?

Shirley Dalton  

You can sign up for those on our website. So under the blog, there’s a little section there where you can have them go directly into your email, or you can actually read them on the website as well.

Murray Guest  

Yeah, great, because I think that that shows your, your passion for helping people understand and to learn but also your your, your discipline to bring that to life. That’s a fantastic achievement. 12 years wow.

Yeah, haven’t missed a week. It’s yeah, I still shake my head at that, it’s like wow. You know, there’s only a couple of things I’ve ever really committed to in my life Murray, that was my husband, a couple of university courses and the weekly thoughts.

Murray Guest  

Well, I’m glad Ross was at the top. All right. Well, to wrap us up, tell me please and everyone listening what is your definition of inspired energy?

Inspired energy for me is enjoying what you’re doing. When you love what you do, you have the energy, you can just keep going and going and going and going. And for me, that’s what I think inspired energy is.

Murray Guest  

Yeah. And I totally agree. And well, for me it is I get the energy when I get the inspiration from someone else that I’m talking to and connecting with. And then that has that flow on effect. And I’ve got that in our conversation today. Shirley, thank you so much. It’s been so great to see you and to, to connect. We have obviously have some few mutual connections that have just said to me, you need to chat and I’m so glad we have today. Thank you.

Thank you, Murray. It’s been an absolute pleasure. Really enjoyed it.

Murray Guest  

Well keep warm, it is that cold part of the year. So if anyone’s listening to this later, after middle of 2022, we are in the middle of a bit of a cold snap, which I like, I feel like you get to dress up when it’s a bit cold so but thank you again, Shirley so much and all the best for the rest of 2022.

Shirley Dalton  

Thanks Murray.