Episode 88 – 2021 Success Map Series | Word for the year

Across this 5-part podcast series, I chat with co-facilitator of Leaders Who Give A Damn, Becky Hammond from Isogo Strong on how to create your success map to learn from 2020 and set your sights for success in 2021. We cover topics such as growth mindset, reflection, goal setting, actions, accountability & partnerships, and word for the year.

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Transcript

Murray Guest  00:01

Hi, everyone, welcome to conversation five in the Success Map 2021 series and this one is all about that word or mantra for the year to help you achieve your goals. Becky, you and I were just chatting about how we’re excited about this one.

Becky Hammond  00:17

Yeah, I’ve been saying I said that I’ve been getting through every conversation just to get to this one, it just feels like the most fun, the most creative. And in some ways, it has the potential to be the most impactful.

Murray Guest  00:30

I also want to recall something you said to me also, it seems to be something that is gaining popularity, more people seem to be doing this as well, which I love. And I’m loving seeing the different words or phrases people are coming up with to help them feel centered and work towards those goals this year. And yeah, I’m really looking forward to this. I’ve loved our conversations as well. So please, if you haven’t listened to those make sure you listen to the previous conversations we’ve had about setting yourself for success in 2021, as we’ve stepped through the success map, and if you don’t have it, it’s a free resource available at leaderswhogiveadamn.com/successmap2021. It’s also on the resources tab, go grab it from there and listen to the previous conversations to help you set for success this year.

Becky Hammond  01:18

Yep. And we’re at the bottom of page four today. This is the last half of that last page and the little icon there talking about mindset, and what that word or your set of words might be that will, well now that you’ve done all this work, right? You’ve reflected on 2020. You are thinking about what would be what, in all areas of my life? What are some goals that I have? And now this last conversation we’re talking about how can we chunk it down so that we can start now to make actionable change. By bringing people alongside us who can hold us accountable. And so let’s talk about that word. So where does this come from? What’s this idea that we have around creating a word or a mantra for the year?

Murray Guest  02:10

For me personally, it started about six years ago, in a conversation with another leader who said, Hey, I do this. And I was like, Oh, that’s a great idea. And I started doing it. And I’ve been doing it since and sharing it with different people. And I certainly am not the inventor or the creator of it. But it’s something I picked up from this leader and after doing a bit of research, it seems like it’s been around for a while. I mean, dictionaries produce their words for the year and things like that. Time has that person of the year, I have found some article about someone suggesting a word for the year back in 1945, in a letter to Time Magazine, so to find the actual origins is quite hard, to find where it started. I’ve also heard Oprah talk about it and other people that do work in personal development and professional as well. I think it links beautifully to mindset. And you just mentioned that too Becky, at the bottom of page four where we talk about the word or phrase and our mindset. So I mean, this may be an obvious one. But we want to pick a word or a phrase that connects with you, that supports that growth mindset, that supports you having a mindset that helps you work towards those goals. So a word like ‘Fear’ maybe doesn’t sit real well…

Becky Hammond  03:22

I mean, is that your guide? Is that the sense that you want to be your guide the entire year? Probably not. We talked about that, in our first conversation, this first episode of the series, about what is the growth mindset? And why does that matter? Why is it important? And so now we’re looping all the way back around. How do we attach a word or a phrase that’s meaningful to that growth mindset.

Murray Guest  03:45

And just like companies have values and a set of values, and it might be four or five words which underpin the culture, some companies do that really well. Where those values or principles are integrated into their culture and their organization. Whereas others not so well. Honestly, I think one of the best organizations I’ve seen do this really well is Masterfoods, which is part of Mars Incorporated. I worked there for 11 years. And I left there 16 years ago. And I can still recall the five principles that the Mars family came up with – quality, responsibility, efficiency, mutuality and freedom. Because of how well ingrained they were into everything we did. Into the systems, into our conversations, where we work with suppliers and with consumers. And it was just done so well. And just like this word or phrase for you, it’s not about coming up with a word today or tomorrow and saying, Okay, that’s it. It’s about this word or phrase embedding into your life in a few different ways to ground you and help you as you work towards those goals. Becky, what are some of the words or phrases you’ve used before? That’s helped you.

Becky Hammond  04:59

I’ve been reflecting. This is really fascinating, even an exercise to go back through and say, Okay, what did I set out at the beginning of the year with this overall sense of where I was going, what words that I used as well as driving and defining visions. One of the years, I used ‘sleep and silence’ as my two guiding words. And I just…

Murray Guest  05:27

I want to jump in. I’m so excited that you’ve picked those words.

Becky Hammond  05:31

Because ever in my life, pick those words.

Murray Guest  05:35

Because they’re not words I think that people might automatically think of, but there’s some inspiration there. And here I am rudely interrupting. I’m just excited. The sleep and silence is fantastic.

Becky Hammond  05:47

Well, they’re not heavy action words, right? Like they’re not go getter words. But yet, what I was realizing from the reflection on the previous year is, I had no margins, I had no opportunities for thoughtfulness, or I don’t know, little opportunities for thoughtfulness. And I was exhausted. And so what is it that I can do to focus on that? Well, let’s just put these words in front of me and be like, okay, when I have a choice, I need to prioritize sleep. And I need to prioritize silence. And when I look back on that year, it was a really trying year, my husband was deployed, I was pregnant with our third baby who was born while he was gone. And towards the end of that year, my mom passed away, so she was sick that entire year. Like, I look back on that, it feels almost providential that I was trying to prioritize things that bring rest, and things that bring reflection and thoughtfulness so that I can look back on that year and not regret it and not be in a fog the entire year. So I mean, that feels like the power of setting those words. And then, you know, the power of reflection of looking back like, yeah, that was a not just functional, but inspiring guide for division and day to day life.

Murray Guest  07:09

Can I ask, do you recall throughout that year referring to those words of sleep and silence, to help you to guide you throughout the year? Or did you like set them and forget? 

Becky Hammond  07:22

I think they can be powerful actually, either way. But I did, I had them on our refrigerator.I had written them on this little card, actually, that my sister had sent me. Through her business, she had sent out an inspiration to everybody that she had worked with in the previous year saying, hey, what word would you maybe put before you for this coming year, and so she had like, a little cute thing that you could write it on. So I wrote it on there. And then I just stuck it to our refrigerator. And so there were times often the tired times of like, you know, looking again through the frigerator like, what are we going to eat to feed these humans, that seem to want to eat every day? It’s comforting. And, and to say, like, Okay, how am I how am I prioritizing sleep and silence? And it wasn’t always possible. But in those moments where I could, yeah, I tried to put those in front of me and make them make a difference in how my year went.

Murray Guest  08:17

I love how, and I actually can visualize, you walk to the fridge thinking, Okay, I’m juggling feeding my children and thinking about your mom and everything that’s going on and David being away. And then you’re like, Okay, but silence…if I can create some of that space for my own silence, that’s going to help me be at my best for others as well. And setting you as you go along throughout the year. Another perspective that you were talking about recently, which I love, because maybe some people feel pressured about, oh, I’ve got to pick a word for the year. What is my word? Everyone else is doing it. I haven’t had my divine download of word or whatever it is. Yep. But Leeana talks about the invitation. Tell us about that.

Becky Hammond  09:07

So Leeana Tankersley, she’s an author who I follow, who is a very real, raw writer. And one of the things that she challenged people to do this year was to come up with their word of the year, but she gave them a little how-to tutorial and one of the things that she mentioned in there was that this is an invitation. This is not pressure, allow the process and the word itself to be an invitation into the year. You know, like when I was setting sleep and silence, that’s like, like you said, it’s not like a go getter. And it’s not that inspirational. In my mind at the time, it was not inspirational.But could it be an invitation into something else. Into, in our case, as we’ve been going through this Success Map 2021 like, could it be an invitation into how you might achieve your goals or the way you feel as you’re working towards meeting those goals every day? And then it takes the pressure off because an invitation is lovely. It’s not pushing you, it’s not driving you, it’s just inviting you in.

Murray Guest  10:10

Yeah, and I’m just thinking how this might look for some people. And let’s say you’re taking a road trip, and you’ve got your destination, that’s where you’re working towards. You’ve got your map or your phone with your map on it. And you’ve got your path planned out where you’re going to go on this road trip. But then you need some fuel in that vehicle, in your car, to get you there. This is that fuel that keeps you going, to keep you moving forward. I’ll be honest, Becky, start of last year, I felt a bit like oh I haven’t come up with a word for the year, my friends have and some of the leaders I’ve been talking to have come up with a word, and you know, why am I not good enough? Where’s my word? One of those moments. And then the word that hit me was ‘everyday’. And I don’t know where it came from, I can’t recall. But it certainly helped me through 2020 to think about everyday, how am I showing up to be my best? How am I showing up for my clients, for my family, as a father, as a husband, for my friends, as a son to my mum, so all of that, and then everyday for my own wellbeing and health like, am I drinking enough water everyday? Am I stretching everyday? Am I investing in my learning? And I recall throughout 2020 when it was tough, I would slip and think okay, and everyday is written on the bathroom mirror. So I brush my teeth or have a shave, and I’d say everyday, okay. So that, again, no pressure, it just came to me. And that really helped me and grounded me throughout 2020.

Becky Hammond  11:44

And I mean, I love them in this like huge connectedness moment for me, because I love that the word everyday was something that you put before you knew what type of year 2020 was gonna be. And that really, the leaders who thrive the most were those who are present everyday, right? Who just said, okay, today’s a new day, we do not know what it’s going to hold. But I’m going to show up with the grace and kindness that we’ve talked about in previous podcast episodes that aired earlier in 2020. And that, that there was an everyday element to really thriving in 2020, that you had to kind of show up just afresh everyday, what’s going to happen today, and have an attitude and perspective that kind of matches with that. So, man, I love that.

Murray Guest  12:33

So a couple of points for people listening to help them come up with a word or a phrase that might work for them. One is there’s no monopoly on words. So if you hear a word or a phrase from someone, and you think, oh, they’ve already taken it, I can’t have it. Let that go. Someone might have picked the word like courage, and you think, Oh, I want to have courage as well. So that’s totally fine. So that’s the first thing. The second thing is, if you’re looking for a word or phrase, and you want to do this, and you’re not finding something come to you, change your environment, go for a walk, you know, move around the house. If you’re in lock down or not locked down right now, whatever you can do, you might be able to go for a walk outside or just stand outside or go, you know if you can get out in nature and go for a walk or ride or whatever it might be. But change your environment and just think and ponder. And my third recommendation is if you’re still thinking, grab a blank piece of paper and just start writing down words, just write down lots and lots of different words. And something will just pop out to you also through that process as well. You might do a mind map or list of words, whatever works for you. But you’ll start to just jot those down, and a couple will jump off the page. And then which one feels right for you. And I got my word last week through going for a ride on my bike, as I love to do. And then this word came to me and it’s set with me and it’s stuck. And I felt it in the stomach. I was like, Ah, yes, that’s the word that’s going to help me be at my best in 2021. What’s your word? You can’t leave us hanging. ….and tune in next time! So I was thinking about this idea of upleveling or you know, how can I improve in what I do? And how can I improve in general. And I thought that doesn’t sound really inspiring or exhilarating. And the word that popped into my head at the time was ‘thrive’. And we’ve got a few indoor plants at the moment. And those indoor plants when they get a new leaf we celebrate like, Oh, look at that this one’s growing and it’s beautiful. And they’re thriving, and how do we get the sunlight and the water just right? And vegetable garden has been thriving. So when that word came to me, it just set really well and for me it’s about how can I thrive this year personally, professionally, help my clients thrive, help the leaders that you and I work with Becky thrive, so that we can be all at our best, and not just get through the year, but thrive. And so I’m really inspired by how I can integrate that into my day to day actions as not just a coach and a facilitator, but just as a person.

Becky Hammond  15:25

Yeah. Cool. So do you have any ideas about how you’re gonna like, wrap that into your daily reminders? You talked about on the bottom of your success map there, it says reminders are a great way to help you maintain your mindset. And of course, keep this at the top of your mind, what are you going to do to put that in front of you everyday.

Murray Guest  15:43

So for those listening, you won’t be able to see this, but it’s already on my phone screen, I just held up to if you’re watching this on YouTube. So it’s on my phone screen, it’s on the mirror, I’ll be writing a blog about it as well. And sharing. And also, I do a weekly review just how things are going, what’s on, what’s coming up. And just bringing that into that as well. So how am I thriving? Think about some questions there. But I think being the person I am and the more I talk about it, the more it gets it a lot. So talking about it with my clients and talking about it with my friends and family. And having those conversations will definitely help me integrate that in. Now drumroll drumroll please.

Becky Hammond  16:33

What are we drumrolling for?

Murray Guest  16:35

Becky’s word or phrase for 2021.

Becky Hammond  16:39

Oh, man, talk about accountability! Okay, so I’ve been kicking around a lot of stuff. I’ve been asking all sorts of people. Speaking of people not having monopolies on words, there’s several people, not several, two people from two totally different areas of my life said that their phrases for the year were do less, better. I mean, it is that, there could be books written about that, probably. And so I just I love that as an inspiration. And my dad, who’s the hardest worker I know and who loves his job probably more than anybody and anyone that I’ve ever met, says maybe just do less. Instead of do less, better, just do less. You know, there could be a point where you’re just like, Yeah, I just need more space. So as I’ve been talking to other people, I just keep having a quote from Mahatma Gandhi continue to go through my mind, which keeps showing up everywhere in my life. And it says, Be the change that you wish to see in the world or that you want to see in the world. And so I think I’m just saying it here, I’m just solidifying it, codifying it, my words this year are be the change. And so there’s definitely an invitation in it. There’s a little pressure because I feel like, okay, first of all, what is the change that I want to see? And then second of all, how do I daily practice that? You know, how do I really, maybe it has to do with giving something up? Maybe it has to do with acknowledging certain privileges that I have, maybe it has to just kind of be inconvenience. One of our kids is extremely sensitive to the homeless. And the other day, he said, Well, if we don’t want to just give them money all the time, why don’t we we give them gift cards? I was like, that’s a great idea. Let’s do that tomorrow. And then I was like, no, we’re not doing it tomorrow. We’re doing it right now. Like, let’s go get gift cards and do that. Because if I want the world to change in a way that people see others, no matter what their status in life is, as valuable, important, worthy of our attention, then I can’t just say let’s do that tomorrow, you know, there’s an inconvenience, potentially, that comes to this, like idea of being the change. So it’s one of those things that has come from like, every direction, like it’s on. All of a sudden it shows up on the back of a shirt that I bought. And you know, David talks about it from some guy that he just randomly was introduced to from a colleague and I think the signs are everywhere.

Murray Guest  19:28

Yeah, and can I just say that as Becky was explaining that I could see a shift in her energy as she said that and I just, I was inspired. I thought it was beautiful to see how that really connected with you. I mean, it’s such a powerful quote, and I love that the ‘be the change’, it’s not just doing things, it’s how you’re being, how you’re showing up day in and day out. Yeah, with the conversations and I mean, that’s such a simple example too, but a powerful example of as leaders, as parents, you know, and the example we said, Oh, we’ll get around to that, or we might do that tomorrow. But no, no, let’s do it now. Let’s set the example. Let’s create that through the way we are being. So that is fantastic. Yeah, I felt that. And thank you.

Becky Hammond  20:22

Well, thanks for holding me accountable. Because, you know, sometimes it’s scary. To set something that feels big, or it feels like, your word can feel like, I don’t know, if I’m gonna get there, if I’m gonna feel thriving every day, right? Like, maybe it’s impossible to really be the change every day. Or maybe it’s impossible to really, truly feel like you’re growing a new leaf every single day, right? But it’s all a part of the process, and just keeping that word or that mantra out in front of you is really going to help connect you back to your mindset, which hopefully then connects you back to your goals and your actions, to look back at the end of 2021 and say, yeah, you know what, maybe things didn’t go exactly how I wanted, but I set out what I set out to achieve. And I was energized and doing things that were in my strengths, and investing in the things that were important to me along the way.

Murray Guest  21:22

I was just thinking also Becky about how in the Leaders Who Give A Damn program, we talked about questions and how important questions are. And what I invite people to consider here as well is you might come up with a word or a phrase, but also to help you live that and to help you be that in 2021. How you can tweak that into a question. So for me thrive is that word, but the question I’m thinking about is, how am I thriving today? Or how am I helping others thrive today? And then that’s going to get me thinking and acting. For you Becky, it might be, How am I being the change today? Or how was I the change today? In your own reflection. And that I think is a way just to get us engaged with the word as opposed to just sort of sitting there as a footnote.

Becky Hammond  22:21

See, I told you, I was gonna like this conversation.

Murray Guest  22:24

And I’m excited. The thing that I love too, is all the people that have been sharing their words with me, get me excited, get me inspired. And then I’m also thinking, you know, futuristically, about how those conversations are going to happen throughout the year about how is your work going, like I want to know, in throughout 2021, how’s ‘be the change’ helping you throughout all the amazing things that you’re doing as well. So this has been such a great final conversation, this series around helping people as you said, to start, get clarity, those goals, the lessons from 2020, and the actions to take to work towards those and then granting that through this word or phrase.

Becky Hammond  23:09

Yeah, Love it. Love it. So if this is the first conversation that you happen to have caught on, you can grab the free resource over at leaderswhogiveadamn.com, there’s a resources page there and you’re going to find the Success Map 2021 there. And you can find these podcasts over at the website as well. Otherwise, hopefully you’ve been listening along on Inspired Energy or on Instagram TV or on the Leaders Who Give A Damn YouTube page. And we are glad that you’ve joined us. And we would love to know, first of all, what your word is. So when you find yours, or even if you’re kicking them around, tag us on Instagram or LinkedIn. And let us know how is this word process coming along for you? What is your word? And we’d love to just hear what the success map process was like for you? And what are some of the things that you got out of it and what you’re hoping for in 2021 as a result?

Murray Guest  24:27

Yeah, I think I would love to know some of those words or phrases that people have come up with. And by sharing your insights and what success looks like this year, that again helps keep it alive and makes it real by putting it out there. So please, anything you’d love to share we’d love to see that as well. Thank you for being part of this process with Becky and I, and Becky thank you again for your time, your inspiration. It’s awesome working with you and I look forward to conversations throughout 2021 as you be the change.

Becky Hammond  25:03

Thanks, and I will be following you as you grow.

Murray Guest  25:09

Alright. Thanks everyone.

Becky Hammond  25:12

See you next time, bye.

Episode 87 – 2021 Success Map Series | Actions & Accountability

Across this 5-part podcast series, I chat with co-facilitator of Leaders Who Give A Damn, Becky Hammond from Isogo Strong on how to create your success map to learn from 2020 and set your sights for success in 2021. We cover topics such as growth mindset, reflection, goal setting, actions, accountability & partnerships, and word for the year.

Listen in your favourite app

Transcript

Becky Hammond  00:00

 Well, hello, good morning. Good afternoon, Murray. Looking forward to this next conversation as we walk through the rest of the success map.

Murray Guest  00:22

I’m really looking forward to this conversation to Becky, great to be chatting with you. Again, we are working through the success map. And we are up to page four, which is the last page. And we’ve got two conversations to go. This first one is a really important one about taking action early in the year on those goals that you set in our last conversation, and also the importance of support and accountability partners. And then our last conversation that we’re getting up to after this is one I’m really excited about too, which is all about that word or the phrase for the year that’s going to ground you and we’ll talk about that, that’s coming up.

Becky Hammond  00:57

But I know you’re getting excited about it. I mean, that is your thing. So we will get into that for sure. So I have to say one of the things I love about this success map is that it is only four pages, like this is not like I’m going to plot out every thought and feeling I have for the entire last year and for the entire year head. But it’s a really manageable doable chunk, especially for leaders who feel very busy. I mean, if you’re a leader, you probably are very busy. And so I love how this kind of can just walk you through in a bite by bite, chunk by chunk, doable process. So I love that and if you have not yet downloaded it, you can do that over at leaderswhogiveadamn.com/successmap2021. So let’s get into this episode about taking action.

Murray Guest  01:55

Yeah. And I know how important is to take action. And you have Achiever in your Clifton Strengths at the top, and you are such a powerhouse at taking action. And it inspires me and I love how you do that. And you’ve shared stories and leaders who have that Achiever and they they take action. And for those people like me that maybe don’t have that as high, I find this process or this system really helpful to actually go and write what what are those things I can take action on? What are those things that are going to help me work towards those goals that I’ve set in those areas we covered in the last conversation, whether it’s health, finance, your career, business, spiritual connection, families, all those areas. But we want to start the year strong, and take some action. Becky, what would you share honestly, that you know helps in taking action and moving things forward? What’s going to help leaders in doing that do you think?

Becky Hammond  02:56

You know, I think some of the things that we just came out of, so those three big takeaways, or maybe it was your big, audacious goal for the year, it can feel just kind of like an elephant, you know, and there’s that African proverb that says, ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.’ Right? So it’s all about baby steps. I remember in seventh grade, I had a friend convince me to try out for the basketball team. And it was really fun. And we had practice before school. As seventh graders, I guess that’s where now the getting up early is ingrained in me. But a friend of mine and I would take a small step, we knew we had to get back to class. But we also knew that we had permission to go from basketball to class. And it really didn’t matter how long it took us. So we took tiny little baby steps all the way there. And for some reason, when I think about like breaking a goal down into smaller, like doable bites of the elephant, I think about those little baby steps that we took all the way down the hall. It’s like, yeah, we’re going to get there, we’re going to get to the end. But it really is not going to happen unless we just take one step in front of the other and do something that really feels like I can see that point. I can’t see all the way down the hall. But I can see that point that’s right in front of me. And if I take that step, it’s going to get me closer to meeting my goal.

Murray Guest  04:18

I love that analogy, that is so fantastic. And I can imagine you just taking those little steps. Yes, we’re moving forward. Yes, we’re going to get there. And we’re working towards where we need to be but you know, at our own pace, at the pace that works for me that suits me every morning after basketball practice. I also think about how important it is to actually do something. And I think so, for me, I think about sometimes my fitness or if I want to read a book or you know, invest in some learning, or the leaders that I’ve worked with or that I know you’ve worked with Becky, where it’s about taking action and I think what can happen sometimes is we get into that mindset of it’s all too big, I just won’t get around to it or it’s too big of a problem, I’ll get to it another time, or I’ll start my fitness program tomorrow. I’ll improve my diet tomorrow, all those sorts of things. And I think this is really about, okay, we’ve got some clarity in those goals. Yeah, but let’s start to take action, let’s start to move forward. And as you said, baby steps. It could be honestly for someone, it might be quite a big step, it might be that you might have identified something in your your personal development, your professional development as a leader, and you need to go and invest in some money or enroll in a course need to get that done now at the start of the year. So let’s go and make sure you take that action and do that now. Yeah, or you might need to get your team together. I was talking to a leader the other day, and their team has felt disjointed with COVID, everything like that, and so there’s a need to get my team together, I need to make that happen. So if you wait to the end of this first quarter, we’re going to be into April, sometimes it’s going to be too late. So yeah, we want to take action. That’s the key thing.

Becky Hammond  06:06

Yeah, there’s a couple of leaders that I’ve worked with that is just coming to mind, one from last year, and then one again, a different person at the end of this past year. And both of them as leaders of other leaders really wanted to make sure that their annual reviews were really time well spent. And so they’re like, Okay, so how do we figure out how to make this happen. That would be like, the bigger goal, like, okay, I want this to be time well spent that I’m writing all this stuff down for them, then my employees writing all this stuff down for me, and that we’re having this long meeting, I want this to be time well spent. And I loved what they came up with, which was that they’re going to add two more meaningful or kind of different angle questions that will get at something different. And so one of the questions that they asked was, ‘what are you worried about this year?’ So they put a twist into their annual review, so that they could get at that bigger goal of making this annual review much more valuable. And that little step really didn’t take that much, right? It just took thinking about that bigger goal and what it might take, and then they changed the language, added a question. And then they were done. So it doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t. It can also be just a small little tweak. But it takes some thought and intention about what those goals are. Goals don’t just get met by being out there.

Murray Guest  07:43

Yeah, there’s a video that I’ve shared with a number of clients over the years, which just so beautifully illustrates what we’re talking about here. And it’s a conversation with Tom Bilyeu from inside quest and Simon Sinek. And this great conversation goes along the lines of Simon Sinek asks Tom, ‘Do you love your wife?’ He says, ‘Yeah.’ And he says, ‘Well, how do you know, or how does she know? And when did that happen?’ And he said, ‘It’s not when you say I love you, it’s all the little things you’ve done over the years, which have demonstrated that love. If you brush your teeth every day, it doesn’t do anything. But if you brush your teeth once a year, you’ll get teeth problems, you’ll have plaque or health problems.’ He said, ‘You need to brush your teeth every day for two minutes to make sure that you are having healthy teeth.’ Same as if you go to the gym once you don’t look totally different. I’m not going to look like Hugh Jackman tomorrow. But if you go to the gym every day, you’re working towards that goal. So it’s about, as we’re saying, take those steps, invest in that small conversation. I love that example you just shared or whatever it might be that you’re working towards, in your goals, take that action, make that step and keep doing it. So you’re working towards that goal.

Becky Hammond  09:05

Yeah, and I don’t know about you, maybe this is an Achiever problem, you can tell me, I just feel like, there are many times where I put that goal out there. I mean, I feel like this happened when I first started my business, I put this goal out there and then I just wanted to do all the things. Like I thought, Okay, like if I start a podcast and I blog every day and you know, book three clients a week, and I do 12 coaching calls a week, like if I do all those things, then I’ll have this successful business by the end of the year. But really what I ended up doing is it ended up making it so every day was overwhelming. And so instead of doing one or two really good things, I kind of got buried by trying to do too many things. But in my mind, both of that thing was what was going to get me to my goal. So there’s definitely some kind of piecing it down a little bit, or is this just an Achiver problem?

Murray Guest  10:04

No so I’m going to share a story with you Becky and I’ve talked a lot through Leaders Who Give A Damn and collaborating for a while. But this is a fresh story. A few years ago, actually would have been about 12 years ago, I had to go to New Zealand to audit a supplier. And staying in the hotel, I was over there for work of course, I went, I’ll go to the gym, and you know, at this point in my life, I was not a regular gym goer, but I’ll go to the gym. The hotel has a gym, I should use it. So I go to the gym and work out. And let’s just say I went a little bit too hard too fast. The next day I am meant to be walking around this supplier auditing their premises. So I’ve got my audit checklist, checking on quality standards and a few other things. I could not lift my arms. I honestly my arms were so sore in my biceps and my my forearms. So I was obviously doing something wrong at the gym as well. I had to walk around with my arms by my side, trying to write down my notes because I couldn’t even lift my arms. You’ve just reminded me of that story as a great example of trying to go like, right let’s get in and do it. I didn’t go to the gym again for another couple of years, I’m sure.

Becky Hammond  11:33

Yeah, so it’s one way to blow your goal is to make yourself feel like, wow, that’s completely unachievable. Because look what it did to my body, right, or what it did to my schedule or look what it did to my psyche or look what it did to my team, even you know, if you’re like, Okay, now we’re gonna do a stand up meeting every day, because we want to do that. And I want to have a meaningful question that we ask, and I’m gonna talk about each of them about their strengths. And it’s like, all of a sudden, your fun meeting that you’re having to bond your team together is an hour and a half long, and everyone hates each other.

Murray Guest  12:11

I’ve seen that play out Becky, where people have been on the leadership course. And they’ve listened to something and they’re like, right, I’m gonna do all the things with my team right now. And then team members think, has this person been brainwashed? They just tried to, you know, drink too much of the Kool Aid and then do everything all at once. Okay. And it is about chunking it down, bringing people on the journey, doing bit by bit by bit. So yeah, if there’s anything out of this conversation besides laughing at me and my sore arms, it is that insight around, Okay, so you’ve got some goals at the end of 2021, what it looks like, what it feels like, what this is for you. Now let’s bring it back. What does that look like for you in Q1? And even if you want to start thinking about going to do something, and there’s an action, but I might leave that to Q2 or Q3. I’m going to space it out a bit. And that’s hopefully going to set you for success by chunking it down and moving you forward. And I really think that will, as opposed to doing everything right now or doing nothing right now, neither of those are going to work.

Becky Hammond  13:18

And you know, we talked last week about goals. And then you reminded me about the mindset around goals. And this talking about Q1 and Q2 and Q3 also reminds me of it’s not that there’s the pursuit of happiness, and happiness is that I have achieved my goal at the end of 2021. But rather, it has to be that you are enjoying the process to get there. Otherwise, you’re going to come up short, almost no matter what.

Murray Guest  13:52

100% Becky, it is such an important point, that if we set up for a goal, which is something along the lines of whether we articulate it like this, or we think about it like this, that I’ll be happy when I achieve this, or I’ll be happy if I have this. We’re setting ourselves up for trying to be happy in the future all the time, as opposed to enjoying the learning process, or the year or the days right now and being happy with that right now. So I think the goal setting and a gratitude process go strongly together. But don’t attach your happiness with your goals or something you’re working towards for growth or as you said, pursuit of excellence, whatever it might be, but that’s separate to your happiness, your happiness is what you’re getting in other areas of your life, whether that’s connection with family or things you’re doing with your team as a leader or other things you might be doing. It’s not about ‘I’m going to be happy when I get this’. That’s a really good point.

Becky Hammond  14:51

Yeah, and I think 2020 has showed us that right? It showed us that we might set out to do a certain thing and it just might not end up the way we think. And I think some people felt extremely rocked by that, at least even if it was just for like a dark middle, right? If there was just like a dark middle of like, Oh my goodness, I’m not gonna do any of these things that I charted to do this year. And so what does it look like to still maintain an attitude that keeps your spirits up and keeps you moving forward, even if you don’t end up hitting that target at the end of 2021. And so what made me think of that is just like talking about each quarter, right? Like, okay, maybe there’s something here and maybe there’s something here too, and maybe Q3, by the time you get to Q3 if things have changed, then you have the opportunity to adjust again, which adjusts what the goal looks like.

Murray Guest  15:49

And we don’t know what this is going to be like. We didn’t know what 2020 was going to throw at us. And we still don’t know, we’ll never know what any year is going to be like. And of course, last year was totally different. But if we have at least some structure in place that’s going to help us deal with the ups and downs are going to come ahead, that’s for sure. On page four, when we set out actions, there’s also that column around support and identifying someone to support us there. What I know for myself, and for people I’ve worked with over the years, we are stronger together. And this is, and I know with the partnership I have with you, Becky, that we are stronger together, the knowledge, the inspiration, the strengths that you bring to our partnership is so important. And I know that with the leaders I’ve worked with that the best leaders are leaning on each other, they’re leaning on each other’s strengths, they’re collaborating, there’s a support there that helps them achieve what they’re trying to do in a collaborative way. So my invitation for people as they’re doing this part is to really think about what support you need to achieve this next bit who you need to help you or who’s going to bring something to the action to help you move forward.

Becky Hammond  17:09

And there’s also an accountability partner. Is there a difference between that? Like, would you say that the person who, or the partnerships that you kind of bring alongside you to support, might be different than the person that you bring in for accountability?

Murray Guest  17:24

Yeah, I think about some of the leaders you’ve talked to me about before, where they are achieving great things, because someone is their cheerleader, or someone is making sure they do what they say, or someone is making sure that they deliver on their promise. Because with the business of life, we can start to slip. So that accountability is making sure we’re staying on track. So yes, slight difference. So support is who do I need to help me to achieve that goal or work on that action. Accountability is who’s going to make sure I stay on track. So for example, in my world, support might be my wife, actually, Tammy helps me with getting things done. Whereas Becky holds me accountable, makes sure I deliver on the things that we talked about and now the business that we’ve we’ve got running. So it’s different things like that. Well, how have you seen that play out for you back in some of the leaders that you’ve been working with?

Becky Hammond  18:24

You know, I think of it in terms of the best leaders are the ones that have regular feedback conversations. And so I’m thinking of it right now. It’s like, well, they’re doing that for their team members. So you as a leader, are you also getting that maybe you have another leader that’s hopefully doing that. And if not, you could ask for accountability in that. And, you know, it reminds me of getting up to go to the gym in the morning. Actually, there are no gyms at the moment, so getting up to work out. If I don’t have somebody to meet, I’m much less likely to do the thing, right. Even as I’m a teacher to our kids this year, if you know, the leader has asked us to send a picture of this activity that we did together, I’m much more likely to do it than if I didn’t. And that’s just you know, it’s relatively inconsequential type stuff. And so, you know, the best leaders are those that can systematically put that into their practice, do it intentionally.

Murray Guest  19:37

Yeah. And I think there’s a really valuable insight here from a leadership perspective around this is not about creating more work for yourself, but how you can hold people accountable for what it is that they said they would do. And as leaders, as coaches, if you’re working with your team, what’s something that that person in your team you’re getting them to do, or to work on, are achieved? And what support do they need to do that, and you might be holding them accountable in your one-on-ones and catching up with them. As a coach, with the people I’ve worked with, it is very much about how I might support them in the coaching conversation, but also might hold them accountable in some follow up. ‘Hey, don’t forget, you said you’d do this. So make sure you loop back with me and that you’ll do that.’ But generally, the support is who else in their circle and the leaders that that I’m working with, are they going to have to help them achieve those goals as well? So yeah, bit of difference. And I think it’s really important to actually identify those people. For each one of those actions.

Becky Hammond  20:38

Yeah, I think some of the questions that you’ve come up with challenge me as well to figure out like, who’s your cheerleader, who’s always going to be in your corner. It can’t be somebody that you are going to feel beat down by if you don’t end up following through on something, but also that you don’t want to let them down. Like, there’s someone that you care enough about that you don’t want to let them down so that you’re not just going to be like, Well, you know, I get a pass because they like me so much. And, you know, they never actually hold me accountable. But really, yeah, I don’t want to let them down. I want them to see the work that I can do and to know that I’m going to follow through on what I said I was going to do.

Murray Guest  21:17

Yeah, I think about someone that’s going to challenge you in that constructive way, that’s going to challenge you in a way that that lifts you up, that maintains that self esteem and that motivation for you to move forward. Because you know that they care. And we talk about that in Leaders Who Give A Damn, it says leaders that care, and you want to have those people who are going to hold you accountable that care about you as well. So I’ve loved chatting to you about actions and taking action. And I’d love to hear how people are taking action in the success map process. So if you’re taking action, of course, put it in our Facebook group if you’re a part of our program, or definitely on social media and tag Becky and myself, because I’d love to hear how this is helping you in that mindset of taking action and moving forward towards your goals in 2021. And we’re about to see you next week for a final conversation about your word or mantra for the year. And I look forward to sharing that and how that can really help you work towards those goals.

Becky Hammond  22:16

That sounds awesome. And as always, if you do not yet have that success map, you can find that at leaderswhogiveadamn.com/successmap2021. And if you haven’t joined us yet, I hope you do. There are three episodes prior to this that can help walk you through the first three pages. And in our next conversation we’re gonna open it wide up and give you the tools to be able to really set your vision and your everyday steps. So looking forward to that next conversation. Thanks, everyone.

Murray Guest  22:51

See you next time.

Becky Hammond  22:52

Bye bye.

Episode 86 – 2021 Success Map Series | Goal Setting

Across this 5-part podcast series, I chat with co-facilitator of Leaders Who Give A Damn, Becky Hammond from Isogo Strong on how to create your success map to learn from 2020 and set your sights for success in 2021. We cover topics such as growth mindset, reflection, goal setting, actions, accountability & partnerships, and word for the year.

In this episode, we dive deep into goal setting and walk you through the Success Map 2021 workbook on this.

Listen in your favourite app

Transcript

Becky Hammond  00:16

Hello, Murray, welcome back to chatting about success in 2021.

Murray Guest  00:22

Welcome to this conversation on goal clarity. This is our third conversation in the series. Becky, I am looking forward to it. I think goals are something that I’m getting better at doing. And this process has definitely helped me and I’m looking forward to stepping through it with you in this conversation.

Becky Hammond  00:44

Yeah, me too. You know, now we’ve reflected on the ups and downs. So we’ve established why is it important that we reflect? Because this growth mindset is so important. And then what are some practical ways that we can do that. So if you’re using the Success Map 2021, from Leaders Who Give A Damn, you can walk right along with us throughout these conversations. We will just serve as your virtual coaches of asking the questions that we would ask if we were to sit down with leaders, person to person, and going through this. So if you don’t have that yet, you can find it at leaderswhogiveadamn.com/successmap2021.  So today we’re talking about goal clarity. And so we are moving into page three of the Success Map and on there, you’re gonna see there are four different boxes there that give you some general categories that you might consider as you’re thinking about setting your goals. We were chatting just before this about how it is important to establish why goal setting is important. It kind of feels like a little bit more of a given these days. But there’s some really great research around around the why. And so remind us, why do we know that goal setting is important?

Murray Guest  02:16

Well, that’s a great point, Becky, I think we can make some assumptions about the understanding we might have about the power of goal setting. But what we do know from research is that when we do set goals, people achieve more, they actually achieve the things in their life that they’re aiming to achieve. The research shows they are actually happier and healthier as well. Because we’ve got that momentum, we’ve got that sense of wellbeing, we’ve got that self assurance that’s developing and the self esteem that goes with that as well. And the other part is setting goals that are within reach, but also being clear on some of those stretch goals at the same time. So we’re building some momentum, because we’re getting those wins. And like you said, in our last conversation, celebrate those wins. And at the same time, let’s stretch ourselves as well. So from a ‘why’ point of view, we actually feel a lot more motivated and energetic as well, because you’re actually going to attack life or approach life in a much more positive way. And I just want to say, you mentioned those four boxes on page three, and they are intentionally general to help people with some guidance and lead us in this goal setting process to identify some areas you might consider. But the bit I’m adding here is if there’s an area you really want to achieve a goal in, write it in on that sheet, make sure you capture it as well. Don’t think that’s limiting you and where you want to have those goals. For example, when we talk about health, we might be talking about mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical health, it could be any of those.

Becky Hammond  04:09

So I have to ask you, why does health make this list? So there’s certainly going to be some very specific business or career oriented things, potentially there’s something regarding a financial goal that we want to meet. But why does health make this list?

Murray Guest  04:37

Well, I think if anyone listens to you and I talk, they know that health is something that we know is extremely important. You can’t show up and serve others, you can’t show up and be the best leader you can be whether it’s a leader of an organization you’re working, or a leader of your own family, whatever it might be, if you’re not looking after yourself. Your vehicle isn’t going to run if you don’t put fuel in it, so you need to put fuel in that body as well. And that fuel is mental, emotional, physical, spiritual as well. And again, reflecting on our previous conversation, that’s been a big lesson again for myself and a lot of people in 2020. About how we do need to look after ourselves to deal with the ups and downs of life. So 100% health has to be in there.

Becky Hammond  05:25

A conversation I was having with a leader just a few weeks ago comes to mind as I think about the importance of health. And I think even as leaders, if you’re here joining us and walking through this, you’re probably not thinking, ‘Oh, health doesn’t matter’. But sometimes it’s hard to give it its weight. And there was a leader that I was working with who was going through some pretty significant health tests that had potentially very difficult news attached with them. And that stress showed up everywhere. She even missed a call with me, that was very unusual – this coaching client is usually right here. And she didn’t show up. There was a long explanation of what is going on. And instead of addressing, she dived into work more severely. And then she shared that there was some serious relationship stress at home as well. And all of that can lead to a potential health issue. And so to me that just drove home the importance of adding health and wellness, and specific goals around how we’re showing up in our physical, emotional and mental bodies.

Murray Guest  07:11

And I can’t credit the owner of this quote, because I can’t remember right now, but the one that’s sticking out right now is that self care isn’t selfish. That was a great example there with that lady you’re working with where we can get into the busyness of life and forget about looking after ourselves. But that investment in our own self care in our own health and wellbeing is so important, and it’s not selfish. By doing that, that’s going to enable you to show up and serve other people. So important, right. And I’ve seen a play out over the years with different leaders, and leaders that do it best are looking after themselves. And they’re setting that example for those people around them, those people that they lead. And they are then showing up to be the best leader they can because they are looking after themselves. And so when you are looking at your health goals for 2021, as Becky was just saying, get really clear – what does it look like? What does success look like for you at the end of 2021? How would you measure that? What does it look like? What does it feel like? And be realistic. If you want to run a marathon, but you’ve never ran before, is that going to be realistic? It may be or may not, you know, you’re taking into account where you are in your well being. For me, I’m not going to put that I’m going to touch my toes. I haven’t touched my toes since I was two years old. But it’s about, what does that look like? And then we’re going to talk in our next conversation about then getting clear on some actions to work towards those goals. But let’s be really clear, what do those goals look like? And then what are some practices to help you get towards those goals. So there’s four areas that we see as key in your wellbeing and health, your personal relationships, or that personal part of your life. And those relationships might be friends, might be family, it could actually be relationships within your work field as well, because relationships are so key, and we talk about that and what it is to give it in the program. We also have finance and wealth. And I know from all the leaders I’ve worked with over the years that finance is one of those stressors that we have in day to day life. Yeah, so we want to get some clarity in that one. And then the first one actually on the page is your career, your business. So if you’re a business owner, where do you want to be at the end of 2021? If you’re an employee, if you’re a leader within an organization or a business, it might be where do I get to be in my career? Is there a change? Is there a leveling up? Is there a new role you want? But take some time out and articulate what that looks like for you.

Becky Hammond  10:13

And what specific language do you feel like has been the most helpful? Like, it comes to my mind that maybe it’s easy for me to say, Okay, I want to do better – you know, use words like ‘better’ and ‘more’. And things like, I want to make more this year than I did last year, or I want to be healthier. So what do you recommend? What’s most helpful when you’re kind of filling out these boxes?

Murray Guest  10:53

So that’s a really good question. Because I think the easy thing is to be very high level and broad in that description, like ‘be healthy’ or ‘be smarter’, because I’ve read a book or something. But you want those goals to be in that SMART framework, which is an acronym of Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound. So this is the process of getting real clarity in your goals – you can’t measure something that’s not specific. So if we want to improve our wellbeing, or we want a change in our career, and what if we write down a new job? You know, what can we do with it? What’s happening? So get really clear. It might be ‘I have a new leadership position, where I’m leading a project team’, right?

Becky Hammond  11:54

That definition for you like happier at my job or more fulfilled in my job that, that would be something like ‘I would feel more fulfilled in my job, if this specific thing was achieved’.

Murray Guest  12:07

Yeah, it could be something like that. Or if you know, in the finance category, there might be something that you’re writing down that along the lines of, ‘I have more money’. And you could have $1 more at the end of 2021, or you could have $10,000, more or $100,000 more. But if you actually have a more specific goal, like I have paid off my mortgage $50,000, or I have saved X amount of dollars for a holiday in 2022. Or I have paid off my credit card debt of $10,000. So getting really clear, because once you’ve got that clear clarity in that goal, you’ve now got 12 months to work towards that and we can start to chunk it down into achievable steps to achieve that goal.

Becky Hammond  13:01

Okay, that just kind of all became clear goal clarity for me as well. And then there are some questions at the bottom of that page that that can kind of help guide that process. One of the ones I love the most was ‘what does success look and feel like?’ So it kind of pairs with those two questions before, it’s like, how do I know I’ll have been successful, how do I measure my success? But then also, not just that’s the goal, but what does it feel like so that we can take that into our action steps and motivate us to get out of bed early in the morning or motivate us to not go out to eat that night because we know that we’re saving towards that 2022 vacation or whatever those little incremental steps will be because we need to know we’re not as rational as we are. The research out of Gallup says that 70% of the weight in our decisions is actually what feels like the more of the irrational aspects of it. And so if we don’t know what it’s gonna feel like at the end, then we won’t have the motivation to get to that goal, especially if it feels like a really big goal.

Murray Guest  14:13

Yeah, and you might think something around ‘do I feel more comfortable in my clothes because I feel healthier’, or ‘I feel more engaged in my job’. Okay, so what does that look like? How are you doing that? And then again, we want to chunk that down to what are the steps to work towards looking like I feel more connected with my partner, my life partner. Okay, so what does that look like and what are you doing and and what are some steps you do along the way to achieve that as well? And I totally agree that there’s the numbers which are important in measuring our goals, getting that clarity, but what does it feel like? Because those feelings are so important. I bought a car in the last couple of years and I remember I did all the research on YouTube, I watched so many videos of these cars and their performance. But it wasn’t until I sat in the cars did I say, ‘is this the one for me?’ I sat in a couple, I went No. And then Tammy and I sat in the car and said, Ah,  this is the one. And it was that feeling. 

Becky Hammond  15:22

So you can feel it yourself, you can see yourself doing it, and you’re in a happier place. Even if it’s right there in the seat of your car.

Murray Guest  15:30

Can I just say you’ve raised a really good point here about visualization. So in helping you get clarity in those goals, take that time out with your favorite beverage, might be a cup of tea or coffee, water, juice, whatever it might be, sit down, or one glass of wine.

Becky Hammond  15:47

I think you’ve missed a key category!

Murray Guest  15:51

But sit down, close your eyes and visualize what that success looks or feels like. Yeah. And if you can visualize it, and you can start to articulate it, then you can start to write it down, then you can start to get that clarity. And you might want to percolate on this for a little bit, and sort of come back to it a couple of times. But then, and of course, once you get that in place, there’s these goals at the end of 2021. You can revisit those, and we really encourage you to revisit those as you go along. Because you’ve put them out there, but you know, keep visualizing them and seeing those and we’ll talk about some ways to to actually bring them to life too.

Becky Hammond  16:28

Yeah. Okay, so I love this idea of envisioning and visioning what it is that you want the end of 2021 to look like how you’re feeling what you’re doing, who you’re with, you are really, really good at that, because you have high futuristic strength, let’s say you’re working with somebody else that doesn’t have that strength, I’m not gonna mention any names…myself. It strikes me that it’s an amazing opportunity for partnerships. And in a couple of other conversations down, we’re gonna talk about accountability and partnership. And this one feels like a real a place for that, where, you know, I can say, Okay, I kind of want to do this, and then somebody with talents like yours, or like my husband’s or other strategic thinkers, or futuristic thinkers can help us think about, okay, so then, how are you feeling? What would be different about you, if you do achieve those goals? And so if you are a much more linear or practical thinker, you might want to partner with somebody who can really cast a vision and who can vision like that.

Murray Guest  17:41

Yeah, and that partner might be your your life partner, or another partner you might have, there might be a work colleague, it could be someone in your team, it could be somebody in your network, it could be a friend. But it’s someone that you can talk this through with, that is going to bring a perspective different to yours. And it’s going to help you see that different perspective, to then work towards your goal, and how you’re going to get there. So I’ve got a couple of friends, and we have great conversations around our goal setting. My wife and I have some, I would say, complementary strengths that really help. Tammy’s high activator, like how you gonna take action on that, where I’m thinking about the future. So they work really well together. But think about those people in your life, like Becky, you talked about so beautifully, then about who you can partner with to really help you do that, and you’ve got that on this piece of paper, and you’ve got that written down, you want to make it visual for you too, as a reminder. So what we did a few years ago, was bought those chalk markers. And we write our goals on our mirror in our bathroom. So when you get up in the morning, and you’re washing your face, and you’re brushing your teeth, and before you go to bed, you see those goals on the mirror, whatever that might be. And so we turn those over. Because they’re smaller goals we’ve chunked down, you might want to put them on your mirror, on your fridge, on the screen on your your laptop, on your phone, or you might want to create a vision board with pictures that really capture what you’re working towards as well. And I’ve done a vision board a number of times over the years, and it’s been really powerful to really help me get clarity about, Okay, what am I working towards? What does that look like? What does it feel like?

Becky Hammond  19:32

Cool. I love that. I love also how that gets to answering the question of, what if I’m just not a goals person, you know, like, what if it just doesn’t feel natural for me to write out that specific number goal and say like, I’m not going to be happy unless I have this one thing. So I think it frees that type of visioning and maybe having a creative space for goal planning. Instead of an analytical space for goal planning. Yeah, it really helps with people who are just like, man, I don’t know, like, if I plan it feels more confining for some people to plan a goal to say like, oh, if I am trying to go towards this, what if I miss out on all these other opportunities that are happening around me. I think of the Clifton Strengths talent theme of Adaptability. People who lead with high adaptability, oftentimes, that’s not their thing. I was coaching a young leader who just felt a lot of freedom from understanding, oh, I have Adaptability strength, and then I can look back even in his short career so far, and say, well, if I would have had like a very specific goal, I might not have even met this neighbor who introduced me to this person who introduced me to this person who finally, let me in the door, right. So you know, I think the why of goal planning, like we talked about at the beginning is very clear that people who set goals are more likely to have that feeling of success at the end. Yep, to achieve their success, it doesn’t necessarily mean that things can’t shift mid course, doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do it in this very structured or linear away, it can be in pictures. It can be on massive whiteboards, it can look different for different people.

Murray Guest  21:26

And I’ll just jump in there, Becky and say something that I’ve seen people do really well that’s worked for them, too, is a Pinterest board. A Pinterest board is, you know, in a digital environment, here are the pictures that represent what success looks like for me in 2021. And I’m just starting to collect pictures of holidays, or parts of finance, or my health or relationships or my career, whatever it might be. And it’s just capturing all those pictures there. And that’s what success looks like. I’m getting clarity in that. And I’m working towards that. And just to top that off, a leader I worked with, what they would do every year is write a letter to themselves from the end of the year.

Becky Hammond  22:08

Hmm, interesting. Okay, so they are themselves, but they’re thinking of themselves a year from now. And they’re writing a letter to themselves now, saying, This is how I feel this is how I’ve achieved it.

Murray Guest  22:20

Spot on. Yeah, powerful and takes a bit of time. But again, is one of those processes that works for some people. And this one worked beautifully for this leader, where she would get absolute clarity in what success looks like, because she’s putting herself in the future and writing it down back to herself 12 months earlier, this is what I’ve achieved. And this is how I got there. And it was such a powerful process.

Becky Hammond  22:21

Wow, I love that. Well, if you leaders do that with this page three of the success map, then you are like a plus plus, because that is an amazing way to envision what it will be like at the end of this year, when we have you have achieved some of these things that you get to jot down on picture here.

Murray Guest  23:08

So if anyone is forming some vision boards, or they’re putting together some pictures, or they want to share this goal setting process, of course, please let Becky and I know – tag us on social media, we’d love to see, it inspires us. And it’s going to inspire other people as well to see that. So yeah, look forward to seeing some of those.

Becky Hammond  23:28

Yeah, and if you don’t have the success map yet, you can find that at leaderswhogiveadamn.com/successmap2021. Or you can just go over to the homepage there and there’s a Resources tab where you can grab that. That’s a free download for you. And we are excited that we’ve been able to be your virtual coaches to walk you through some of this. And so if there are still questions that you have about any of these pages, or any of these steps or questions along that are asked in the success map along the way, please do reach out to us, you can connect with either of us by DM’ing us on Instagram or on LinkedIn. And you can find us by emailing us at hello@leaderswhogiveadamn.com. So we we are available at any of those places, and we’d love to hear from you. And even if you’re questioning different parts of the process, we would love to get your your insight and help you walk along the process as well.

Murray Guest  24:23

Thank you, Becky, this was so good. This inspires me, these conversations, and thinking about and obviously feeding my Futuristic strength and business success in 2021. And we don’t know what 2021 is going to look like. But what I do know is if we get clarity in where we’re working towards, with whatever does come at us in 2021, we’ll be able to respond better, because we know where we’re going. So I want everyone to consider that and look forward to talking to you in our next conversation about taking action and kicking off 2021 with success. Thanks again.

Becky Hammond  24:57

Yeah, thanks Murray.

Episode 85 – 2021 Success Map Series | Reflection

Across this 5-part podcast series, I chat with co-facilitator of Leaders Who Give A Damn, Becky Hammond from Isogo Strong on how to create your success map to learn from 2020 and set your sights for success in 2021. We cover topics such as growth mindset, reflection, goal setting, actions, accountability & partnerships, and word for the year.

In this episode, we reflect on 2020, and walk you through the Success Map 2021 workbook on reflection.

Listen in your favourite app

Transcript

Murray Guest  00:05

Hello, Becky, it’s so great to be catching up with you again and talking about planning for 2021 and setting our goals. But before we get there, we want to reflect on 2020 in the year that has been, and building on our previous conversation about our mindset and having that growth mindset. So looking forward to this chat with you today. When you think about 2020, and I know you’ve been asking people this, and you’ve been asking people in the Leaders Who Give A Damn group, what two words come to mind when you think about 2020 for you?

Becky Hammond  00:53

Oh, man, I didn’t prepare for this. But I’m just going to give you a word that I feel maybe aren’t the most common word for 2020. We feel energized and refreshed. Hmm. So in my business, and in my home life, this year has been it’s been jolting. Like we were a family who had bags packed house packed up ready to take a new job that got indefinitely postponed in March. So I can’t say that we haven’t been affected. But I can say that it has not. I mean, it has mattered what we’re talking about last week about growth mindset. I felt a little bit proud looking back on our year going, Okay. Yeah, I think we, I think we approach this year with a growth mindset of like, okay, we’re not moving to DC, where are we going to live? Now?

Murray Guest  01:46

I just I want to jump in and say it was so inspiring how you and your husband and the whole family responded to that, that was such a, honestly such a great example of growth mindset when that happened. Okay, that’s out of our control. But what can we do? How do we pivot right now? That was so amazing. Yeah,

Becky Hammond  02:07

Thank you, thank you. I mean, there was a huge amount of overwhelm, even as I’m figuring out how to continue to pivot my business, when we were temporarily then in Arizona, and a cabin in the woods. And then when we again, switch to temporarily living into DC, in Washington, DC, where we are now. So there was some stress, I can’t I don’t want it to feel like just because I feel energized and refreshed. Those are my words, that there wasn’t some serious questioning of what what are we doing? And, you know, should I even be doing XYZ in my business? Or should I, you know, just all the doubts that come with that uncertainty. So that was all there. But I feel like we’ve we’re coming out, or coming out on the other side, and I can look back and say, there we go. We’re refreshed and energized. So how about you? What are your two words?

Murray Guest  02:57

Ah, well, I have been pondering this one a little bit. Because it’s such a great question that you’ve been putting out there. So thank you for getting me to think about it. I in this moment, and thinking about perspective, and focused. And perspective, I think through 2020, a renewed perspective about what’s important, about perspective on gratitude for family, for my clients for the work that I do renewed perspective around what’s important in life, you know, with all that’s been happening, so I’ve just got a new perspective, I think. And I would say focus because I, I’m not good at focus, I know that I’m good at moving from things. And I know, I know, I don’t multitask, but I move chop and change from different things. And I know I could do that better. And I think through this year, I’ve learnt and have been forced at times to be like, I need to be focused on it, and then be focused on that. And that’s helped me to be honest, it’s been really good. I feel very grateful. I’ve got joy. I’m actually energized about next year. But that those two words really stand out for me. But I’d love to squeeze in one more if that’s okay.

Becky Hammond  04:13

That’s against the rules. And I’m getting Yes, yes, please do. I would love that. Well,

Murray Guest  04:19

this is one I think, which leads into what we’re going to talk about today. And the word that’s coming to mind is boundaries. I feel like 2020 has had lots of examples around boundaries where with leaders, there’s the impact of what what do I expect from my people working from home with these new flexible working conditions? When can I call on you? When can you have some boundaries around when you’re working, not working when you’re with your family or whatever that is. And I’ve been thinking about how boundaries have been even stretched sometimes around some of the requirements from the government that have you know, for managing COVID And everything else, but boundaries. And just, you know, we’re going to talk about in the next conversation about clarity and goals and how clarity is, and I can see there’s some links there. And when we’re clear on those boundaries, that really helps us. So yeah, that that’s coming up for me as well.

Becky Hammond  05:16

Yeah, yeah. When those boundaries, like you said, they’ve been stretched. And so as a group or as an individual, yeah, it’s an opportunity to kind of reflect like, do do I need to create different boundaries? Is it okay, that my boundaries have kind of have stretched out? Is it you know, going to come back in together? Or, am I ok, with the way that things have been structured? I’m okay, going forward like that. So,

Murray Guest  05:45

yeah, and I think people have different boundaries, don’t they different levels of what level of flexibility they want or don’t want, or they need and don’t need are very different people. I’d say individualization of leadership that Yeah, talked about before, and people understanding that, but I think if everyone as part of this reflection process and review what words come to mind for you, when you think about the year of 2020, that has been and and jotting those down as part of this review process, we’re about to take you through. If you haven’t downloaded the success map yet, you can do so at leaders who give a damn.com there is a forward slash success map 2021 or just go to the website, and there’s a link there on the homepage, you can grab it there. We’re going to go through pages one and two of that success map in this conversation and pages one two of that success map out all about the review.

Becky Hammond  06:45

And that reflection piece.

Murray Guest  06:46

Yeah, that reflection of 2020. I love when we’re talking recently, Becky, you mentioned a quote from Lord of the Rings.

Becky Hammond  06:56

Yes, yes. Tolkien writes, “his grief, he will not forget. But it will not darken his heart. It will teach him wisdom.” We talked a little bit last in last conversation about how their husbands and their husband hard things, I don’t want to say there have been some hard things but no, it there have been huge challenges. For you, for me, for leaders out there for, for whole entire industries. And for families. And we don’t want to rose color paint this yet. We also want to make sure that we don’t let it darkness that we don’t say 2020 is I’m so glad it’s gone. It’s in the pits, let’s just move on, but rather let it bring us wisdom and not darkness, even in that hardship.

Murray Guest  07:52

And I think I mentioned this quote in the Leaders Who Give A Damn program, there’s so many quotes that we’d like to share is one that is from a guy I used to work with Eric Napier. And I just love this quote. And it is just simply the past is a place of reference not residence, which I think links beautifully to what you’re saying, Yes, we don’t need to forget things. And we can reference those things. And we can leverage those events and times and experiences to help us learn from those moving forward. But we don’t need to sit back there. It’s not your place of residence. Yeah.

Becky Hammond  08:31

Yeah. Take don’t take up our you don’t need to take our comfy blanket there and move in. We just need to reflect and then move on. Yeah,

Murray Guest  08:41

yeah. And my hope, as we step through this process is for everybody, whether they are a leader right now, or they going through this, this series with us and thinking about their review process, just to help them set for success in 2021. And I think what’s important is taking this time out to reflect to review, identify those lessons and learnings and then start to look at ways to apply that and set some goals for this upcoming years for success because we don’t know what the is going to look like. But the clearer we are on those goals, the more likely it is to achieve those.

Becky Hammond  09:19

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So let’s reflect let’s so the first two pages of this success map that Murray has used with leaders in the past and that he has graciously let us adapt for leaders who give a damn. The first two are about the review of the year. So there’s two different columns. You’ll see there are things that are these things were jiving These are things I’m proud of. And then the other side, we’re like, Look, these were challenges. These are frustrations. And I’m sure, hopefully you can find a lot for both columns. And we can chat through some of those and what that has meant for us and then page two It really just boiling that down. Okay, so then based on some of that heavy reflection work that you do on page one, what are your three biggest lessons? And what’s the So what? Why does that matter? And what what are you? What part of that reflection? Are you going to take forward with you to use as wisdom, as tocumen? Say, into the next year?

10:20

So yeah,

Becky Hammond  10:21

those two pages that we’re talking about right now.

Murray Guest  10:23

Yeah. And I’ve loved the impact it’s made with leaders in the past going through this process, where they have identified as with just so beautifully gone through Becky, what’s worked well, and what didn’t work as well. And for some people listening right now, you might find it’s easy for you to identify which didn’t work well, you know, you’re good at, you know, the maybe being a bit more critical, and a bit more negative or a bit more hard on yourself. So just be mindful of, of balancing that out with, okay, all of the good things, all the things that did go well, when you were in a real productive state. And for that other people, if you’re in that sort of mindset, where you’re very easily able to identify all the good things, make sure you take the time to go through the questions on the other side as well. Becky, I’d love for you to share when you look at the questions on page one, is there any answers to any of these questions you’d love to share from a personal perspective for you thinking about your 2020?

Becky Hammond  11:25

Yeah, you know, when I review these questions, the one that stood out the most for me, so I definitely lean towards the what worked? Well, five, if you’re gonna say there’s two ways of leaning, I learned towards the, what worked well. I have an Clifton’s drinks landers, I have a strength called connectedness. And that just kind of yearns me to see that there is learning and everything and that everything is kind of meant to be so even these things that other people might say, whoo, that was horrible. It just doesn’t occur to me that it was as horrible as maybe it might seem on the surface is part of

Murray Guest  12:04

you as well, no. No,

Becky Hammond  12:07

it’s not. Actually, I don’t know exactly where it is. I think it’s towards the bottom. So when did I apply my strengths and talents? That’s one of the questions that that reached out to me. Because we were talking about this a little bit earlier, which is, you know, Don Clifton, the father of strengths based psychology, one of his main guiding questions was, what if we change the question we ask? And we say, “what is right, instead of what is wrong?” And I think, you know, as you were saying that we could do this, not just with ourselves, but with our entire year, we can look at, you know, what, we want to know what didn’t go well. But what would happen if we focus on what did go well, and how we learn that and bring that into the future. So when I think about how I applied my talents and strengths, so what went right this year, and I feel like I was able to use, say, kind of my my drive stamina ability to create efficiency and my desire for meaningful connection to create the podcast series about strengths in crisis. This was probably one of the most meaningful series that I have done, not just for myself, but for the people who have reflected back about how it felt like, okay, maybe I’m not alone in, in this journey. And in this struggle, maybe I’m not the only one with a jaw dropping story, maybe I’m not the only one who’s just trying to figure it out. And so that felt like a an amazing application of my strengths. And then I also have a strength. It’s called belief in Clifton’s drinks language. And the space that this year has created for family has been, has just fed my soul. And so those are two ways that I look back at this year and say, Yes, I was applying my strengths, even though we have been in flux for 10 out of the last 12 months, even from a residential perspective, we’ve been together and so that feels like leaning on my strength and success.

Murray Guest  14:19

Yeah, can I as a someone that admires what you do, as, as a coach, as a facilitator, and as a mom, and as a wife. All those different hats that you wear, I see in you this. Okay, this is the situation but we’re going to make it work. There’s that belief is coming through that belief in your high achiever of Okay, this situation, but I know we’re going to make it work and here’s what we’re going to do. And we’re gonna have fun while we do it as well.

Becky Hammond  14:52

We gotta we just got it.

Murray Guest  14:56

I think I’ll lean a bit more on the other side. There’s my default I could have done that better, or I could have been better in that situation, or I could have said something a bit clearer, or whatever it might be. And so I’m very mindful of that. I also do take the time out for the other side. And I’m just going to quickly say, though, when I think about what didn’t work, and this is something, which is something, I’m still getting better at all the time, as I’m still focusing on Becky, and I’m sure a lot of people can connect with this. I know, in my moments of stress in 2020, I didn’t show up as good as I could for those around me that I love. And those moments of feeling busy or overwhelmed, or my agenda was fall on my to do list was full. And then forgetting the reasons I do the things I do for the people that I love, and then not showing up as good as I could. Yeah, yeah. So and it’s a bit of a information that I just want to quickly share. So there was a survey that you and I are talking about the other day, the Oracle workplace intelligence survey, 12,000 employees, they surveyed 11 countries, and 78% of the respondents for this survey said “the pandemic has negatively affected their mental health”. Wow. Which did honestly such a large amount, but doesn’t surprise me. Right. And I think about that statistic, I think about myself and the people I’ve been working with, and how important this conversation with ourselves and others is around our mental health and our well being because I know for myself as the same when I’ve been getting stressed and overwhelmed and thinking about all that’s going on, then I’m not showing up the best I can for those around me that I love. So yeah. So I’d be writing that down in my review about how I can do that better going forward. And that’s one of those lessons I’m taking forward. And as leaders that suddenly we need to be mindful of around, you know, 78%, that’s nearly eight and 10. People have that negative impact on their mental health. Yeah,

Becky Hammond  17:08

yeah. And what that really means, and I think I’m taking us a little bit off topic, but I just hardly can help it is that we are as leaders walking around with people who aren’t 100% Well, that we people have felt, they’re in some way, there’s a stressor in their life or in their psyche or in their physical body. That just is makes them not be 100%. Well, and so the impact of that not only on our reflection of the year, but also our planning for the future as leaders. We got to know like people, people are feeling stressed still, to this day. Right? Like, yeah, like we talked about in the last our last conversation, there’s no magic 2021 switch that’s going to make everything all starry eyed again. And so, as leaders, how can we even include include this into our reflection of last year, and to go and going into this year?

Murray Guest  18:09

You mentioned earlier, our conversations we had back mid 2020. The leadership lessons through lockdown. And one of the ones that really stands out to me right now, is that conversation about grace and kindness, and how important that is from a leadership perspective. And how bringing that grace, that kindness in a leadership approach for those people that you are leading your influencing that you care for. So if you haven’t listened to that, please, I invite you to go back and check those out in the leaders who give a damn series because it just such a great reminder around like you’re saying, Becky, with that stress, everyone’s still feeling right now that we consider that how can we show up with more kindness for those people that we’re leading as well. But in that review, I’ve I’m going to flick to the other side, then I’d like to hear one from you as well. So for me, I’d also say what has worked well is I use that word which has been used a billion times in 2020. I did pivot this year. I pivoted to online. And to be really honest, I’ve that was one of those aha moments where I thought you know what, maybe I should listen to my wife.

Becky Hammond  19:22

For the last however many years, no pandemic.

Murray Guest  19:26

Yeah, so and when we get a driver for change will make the change. And for last few years, Tammy has been saying to me, Hey, why don’t you do things online. I like facilitating working with people face to face. When COVID hit I did need to pivot online and I ran over 100 online sessions this year, which has been fantastic. Which I’ve enjoyed I’ve really enjoyed. So I say that’s worked really well that opportunity to pivot and to do that because that gives me some flexibility around how I’m spending my time When I’m not facilitating less traveled to be honest, so that’s been really good. So I’ve really enjoyed that. Becky, for you any other reflections on 2020?

Becky Hammond  20:12

You know, I think I feel like maybe this could go in both categories or at straddles is I have seen where we just need to sell we need to celebrate. And so I think that comes up on the on the didn’t do so well outside of did we just did we pause Did we? Do we pause long enough to celebrate the things that are happening? Even if we the things they originally weren’t awesome thing, but they turned into something awesome. Like we realized one day we woke up and we’re like, wow, we spent more time together as a family than we ever have. Or Wow, our baby daughter who’s one years old, goes to daddy before she goes to mama, you know, like that’s huge. That’s a huge, little. Okay, the huge, tiny, teeny tiny, little thing that feels like it deserves a huge celebration in our minds, at least a pause. And so sometimes we did that. And sometimes we didn’t. And so I I’m cognizant of the fact that that’s not something I’m great at of pausing. I like to just be like, oh, there’s a problem, I can figure out how to make it. turn into a problem, I can see how Ooh, there’s so many great things about this, that oh, we can make this so much better. And I think that will be one of my lessons for the year, is what it looks like to pause to celebrate a little bit more in the coming year. So I think does that take us into the second page? The three big I think

Murray Guest  21:41

it does. I just want to share something with everyone right now, though. And, and that is this is the power and these conversations and doing the review, because we hadn’t talked about this. And as you’re saying that I’m getting that awareness for myself going, I could do that better as well. Like, where have I celebrated or recognize the little things? And were just in my business? I haven’t done that. I mean, I’m big on doing reviews and reflecting but celebrating. Yeah, I could do more of that. Definitely. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I’m just, I’ve got to write that one down. And that’s my review as well. Cool. On the review side, and just as we before we skipped through into page two, people might be thinking, you know, I don’t have time for the review. I don’t, you know, I’ve got to get on, I’ve got my busy nurse, I’ve got got to get into 2021, you know, whatever it might be. Again, and we mentioned this a little bit in our last conversation, think about, you know, those high performance people. I had a conversation a few years ago with Rob field from Top Gun. So he was a Top Gun boss and a Blue Angels boss, for those that don’t know, Blue Angels, for the US Navy, this demonstration group. And one of the key things that stands out for me in the conversation with Rob, he talks about that every debrief session they have after one of their practices goes for twice as long as what they were doing out in the on the interesting. Yeah, so they might be flying doing formations for a show for an hour their debrief straight after we’ll go for two hours, at least he said at least. And the reasons they do that is how can we make it better? How can we make it safer? How can we make it more efficient, and this robust process helps them improve and, and perform at the most highest level? So I just hope that gives everyone some inspiration about the power and doing this process as well. Cool.

Becky Hammond  23:49

Yeah, like it’s worth the time. Even Yeah, even when we’re busy. And as we, as we, you and I are essentially doing this as we talk and, you know, whatever this conversation, that’s the length of this conversation ends up being potentially could be just as much time as it takes, it doesn’t have to be a month long project or taking a day out to think about it, it can be done in little increments over over time.

Murray Guest  24:17

Yeah, and, and can be done while you’re doing some jobs around the house or going for a walk or a jog or to the gym or whatever it is that you like to do as well. What we invite you to do after you do that reflective process, going through some of those questions to prompt you on page one, you then move to page two. And the aim here is to point those three biggest lessons when you think about at your best and you can choose your strengths and talents or maybe when you weren’t showing up at your best or you could have done things better. Whatever comes to mind you then distill those down into those three biggest lessons and what they might be for you. And I’ve actually done a bit of homework here, Becky.

Becky Hammond  24:58

I know I I’m aware of How well you can do your responsibility.

25:04

Murray Guest  25:05

Yes, I do have responsibility. But I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit. And my three biggest lessons just to share and hopefully get people think about this is my everyday health, just how important that’s been for me this year, whether that’s making sure drink enough water that I take some supplements that I like that I know I need to take, that I’m stretching every day that I am being grateful every day, all of those things. So everyday health, flexibility is key, not just flexibility in my 50 year old body,

Becky Hammond  25:36

as a human, like all that stretching you’re doing is a big emphasis.

Murray Guest  25:40

Not just that, but flexibility in life, and how important that is. So we need to have that structure, but be flexible, like you’ve talked about with your family. And even in the in the past conversations with leaders will work with just that flexibility is so important. And the last one is that individualization, that everyone’s situation is different, that we just can’t assume that person A, B, C, D, E, F, has the same situation, everyone’s situation is slightly different and embracing that. And being mindful of that is so important.

Becky Hammond  26:11

Cool, I love it. I love how you can see your three words. You’re we’re supposed to be two, but three words throughout that, as well as some of your reflections on things that went well and didn’t go as well, that kind of can be summarized into these three bigger lessons. So what do you what do you think is the so what aspect of this when you’ve done this with leaders? What do they put in that box? The So what?

Murray Guest  26:37

Yeah, so if you think it’s a continuation of the distilling from the the reflective pace to the three lessons to now what’s the one So what was the big insight. And so for some people, it’s been around better planning for some has been about how they’re showing up. For some, it’s about improving that home and work balance, to be more present and to be the best for those around them that they love and care for. So there’s been a range of for different people. summit has been around also prioritizing some of their own their own self care, and they’re actually their own develop. For me, is actually I’m going to say my own health is just something really important. So whether that’s my physical, mental, emotional health, I’d say that’s the so what because what I know is, if I’m looking after that, then I can be at my best for my family, for myself and for my clients and for working with wonderful people like you, Becky. That’s my So what? So don’t let that slip. That’s got to be that that’s my say, what from 2020.

Becky Hammond  27:49

Yeah, and again, you can link it back to every one of those things that you were talking about even boundaries, even even this new, oh, maybe I should celebrate more revolution, right of like, if if you’re, if you are well, then you’re going to be able to have more time to pause, or you’re going to think about oh, wow, yeah, we did accomplish something, or this is a good thing. So I love it. I love it. And then there’s a little place there to capture your words for 2020. So these might be words that you had already designated, or just like we talked about the beginning of this conversation, maybe they’re words that are reflective of what was it like? And how am I feeling like I’m coming into 2021. And toward the end of these episodes, we’re going to talk about what does it look like to establish a word for the year for 2021? And what’s the power? What’s the power in that? So I think it, it all kind of it all kind of fits together. So stay tuned, as we keep working through this success map together.

Murray Guest  28:51

Yeah, Becky, I know some people have already got a word for 2020 that they can reflect on others might find some words or themes that come out through this reflective piece. But you’re exactly right in I think in three conversations, we’re going to talk about the power of identifying a word or two that can help ground you can help guide you for 2021. I’m having conversations with people right now trying to work through and identify what the words are for them or myself. And I’ll say I haven’t worked out mine for 2021 yet, but hopefully through these conversations that will come to me. So yeah, really looking forward to sharing that with everybody.

Becky Hammond  29:27

Cool. And as we mentioned at the beginning of this conversation, you can get the success map out leaders who give a damn.com slash success map 2021 or go to leader to give them.com and there’s a Resources tab there where you can find not only this but also the our Are you a leader who gives a damn quiz as well as an infographic that talks about 90 behaviors of leaders give a damn that’s been sourced from dozens of real leaders, real followers, and so there’s a few resources resources for resources for you there and Always a lot of the things that we’re talking about today are, are aspects and elements of leadership that we go dive deeply in on in our program, leaders who give a damn program. That’s an online virtual course that you can walk through at your own pace, and hits on seven essential elements of leaders, and gives you action items and ways to put that into practice. And just kind of gives you a deep dive right there. Right there with us as your virtual coaches. So we will be excited for you to join us on any one of those escapades. And continuing to follow along on this success map as we get this going here at the beginning of 2021.

Murray Guest  30:48

Yep, so Becky, thanks again for your time. Thanks for your your sharing your your journey and some of your reflective pieces for 2020. Look forward to our next chat around gold clarity. And can I just say anyone that’s going along with this as they’re doing this review, if you’re getting some insights or you’re getting some aha moments through your own reflective, please share them on social media and tag Becky myself, I’d love to know how this process is helping you. So see you in our next conversation shortly.

Becky Hammond  31:19

All right. See you then. Bye.